Friday, December 28

I finally got the call from one of my doctors regarding my PET scans yesterday. Here is the conversation with my oncologist. "The PET scan did not light up cancer in that area, or any other area. However, pancreatic cancer has more of a tendency not to light up on scans than other types of cancer."

The way that I figure it, the PET scan was done so that if it did show cancer, then I would feel more comfortable going through the chemo treatments. Both of my oncologists still believe that I need to begin chemo. My family doctor and I are not so sure.

Where we are now: we are contacting Duke and MD Anderson for more options. Keep praying as we travel this journey. I know that God has something awesome to show us in all of this.
I do wish that He would work more in my time, but after all "It's all about HIS time."

Wednesday, December 26

I pray that all of you have had a blessed Christmas season so far.
I have taken the wonderful opportunity to be with family and friends over these past days. I am especially grateful for that, considering the fact that just a few days ago I did not feel like doing squat.
But right now my pain is somewhat under control. Good drugs  do that, but good drugs also have their drawbacks. Anyway, they allowed me to spend some good time with some of those whom I love.

As of right now, the doctors think that they know the cause of my pain. It is a very small, less that an inch, "thing" that is laying on a bunch of very sensitive nerves.  All of my doctors agree that this 'thing' is the source. Not all agree what this 'thing' is. So right now, the plan is for me to have a PET scan tomorrow (Thursday) to determine if this thing lights up as cancer. By the way, we just had a CT scan done a few weeks ago, and we had a PET  scan done a couple of months ago and nothing has ever showed up on these or any other scans. If this thing does light up this time, we will consider beginning chemo as soon as possible. If it does not show that it is cancer, then we will find out just what it is, and how to treat it.

Thanks for keeping in touch (KIT) with me during my journey. And never forget - it's all about Him!

Friday, December 21

Happy Friday Blog family. Just to update you on my health journey, things seem to change from day to day.
For several days now, I have really been thinking about the idea of starting a strong regiment of chemo without knowing for sure that I have a recurrence of cancer. So after consulting with Dr. West, Dr Chang has agreed to have me do another PET scan before we begin any kind of chemotherapy. The PET scan should give us a better idea of what this "thing" is that is pressing on some nerves.
I am thankful that we have a plan for whatever path we take. As I have said in the past, sometimes it is the 'not knowing' that is more frustrating than the knowing. If I am not careful, the not knowing can get on my last nerve. :-)
I'm not going to let that happen. I am going to continue to trust God. He doesn't have to tell me everything; in fact, I am glad that He doesn't. God didn't give Mary or Joseph all of the details. If He had, I am not sure that they could have humanly handled it. He just told them what they needed to know when they needed to know it.
Lord, just send me an angel every now and then to tell me just what I need to know when I need to know it. After all, just like Mary and just like Joseph, my life is really all about HIM.

Wednesday, December 19

We just returned from Dr. Chang's office to discuss the results of my MRI.
Basically, the MRI showed a very small mass in an abdominal area that has a lot of nerves. The feeling is that this mass is wrapping around those nerves, causing the intense pain.
Dr. Chang and Dr. Zafar are both oncologist. Oncologist look for cancer. That being said, this could be a recurrence of my cancer. It also could be simply scar tissue.
Right now we are going to treat this as though it is cancer (although we don't know this for sure). Our plan is to begin chemotherapy after Christmas. In the meantime, I am going to take some longer lasting, stronger pain medication. So if you see me, I am not responsible for my words or my actions. (Just kidding - I wish that I could blame my actions on medications. :-) )
The only thing that I can blame anything that I do is on my choice. Today, I choose to continue to trust God.
After all - it's all about Him!

Monday, December 17

Next week this time it will be Christmas Eve.
Last year this time I was healing from my surgery. My chemo and radiation therapy had not begun. By the time Christmas eve arrived, I was doing well enough to preach that Christmas Eve sermon. It was the first time that I had been to church since the Sunday before Thanksgiving. What a great memory!

Right now, I feel physically worse than I did this time last year. As you know, I have been battling these severe abdominal pains for several weeks now. Until today, I thought that I have had every kind of procedure and test known to man. But after talking with both of my doctors in Goldsboro and consulting my oncologist and surgeons at Duke, we have decided that I need an MRI. We are hoping that this will give us the answer to the cause of my pain. So tomorrow (Tuesday) I am going to Wayne Memorial for the MRI. Then on Wednesday I will see Dr. Chang to discuss the results and what steps are required to take care of whatever the issue is.

If you think about it, say an extra prayer that this thing will be simple and easy to take care of. This one thing I do know. Whatever it is, it may not be simple to me, but it will be simple to God. Nothing is greater than He is. After all, this whole thing is:
All about Him!!!

Thursday, December 12

Happy 12/12/12 blog family.
My appointment with Dr. Chang was a good one. The good news - no the great news - is that the pathology report from last week's endoscopy showed no signs of polyps or cancer. Yes! It also showed no signs of bacteria that could be causing the pain. I do have an irritated stomach lining. They call it gastritis, which is a medical term for "we don't know why your stomach lining is red."
So at this point in time my stomach lining is not the only thing that is irritated. My mind is not happy because my stomach is still telling it that there is pain. And the fact that the doctors don't know why, so they don't know what to do about it, makes me irritated. I renewed a prescription for pain killers, which is supposed to help me wait this thing out.

Now that I have updated you on my physical condition, let me update you on my emotional condition. When you are traveling a cancer journey and the doctors cannot explain why you hurt, you automatically think that there is cancer somewhere that they just have not found. You don't want to think that way, but that's just the way that you feel.

Now that I have updated you on my physical and emotional condition, let me update you on my spiritual condition. I might not understand why God does things in God's time, but I do understand that he has a wonderful master plan. I might not even agree with God on his timing, but I am clearly aware that He is God and that He is in control. So, I am trusting in Him every day. After all, it's not about me. It's all about Him!

Are you struggling with God's plan and God's timing? Remember this quote from Dr. David Jeremiah: "Nothing ever happens to me that is not filtered through His love."

Just a thought

I saw this on the WRAL news web page.

"A federal judge on Monday temporarily blocked North Carolina from issuing special anti-abortion license plates. The state chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union suing to prevent the "Choose Life" plates, alleging that they violate the First Amendment because there's no specialty plate for supporters of abortion rights."

My first thought was, so is the ACLU saying that they want a "choose death" license plate?

My second thought was, isn't there something wrong with the premise that not allowing
someone to put words on a license plate is a protection of the First Ammendment right to free speech?

My final thought was, oh, it was the ACLU - not worth wasting my thoughts over that group. And so like many other Americans, I just stopped thinking.

Thursday, December 5

Just to update you on my endoscopy this morning. The test showed a very red stomach lining. This could be caused by bacteria. A biopsy was taken. It will take a week to ten days for the results. It also could be caused by bile from my procedure last year. He is sending the results to my other doctors.
The good news is that there are no polyps or tumors that would indicate any connection with cancer.
 Whatever it is, it is still causing intense pain. He is giving me medication to coat the stomach lining. And I know that we will get this resolved and I will continue praising God. Mountaintops or valley's, it's all about Him.

Saturday, December 1

Happy December blog family. Just to keep you updated. I went yesterday for what I thought was an endoscopy. Instead, my appointment was for a consult first. The procedure is scheduled for next Wednesday (thanks to Debbie N, a friend and church family member who works in that office.)

For the most part, my pain is under control with meds. Thank you for your prayers.

Thursday, November 29

Got is good! It's all about HIM! How many times does He have to remind me of these things?
The scans that I had done on Tuesday showed NO cancer! Thank you for your prayers.
I am still having severe stomach pains, so I am going tomorrow for an endoscopy. I have never had one of those, but they tell me that it is a lot of fun. :-) My doctors are thinking things like a stomach ulcer, or maybe even the bacteria, H-Pylori that I had last year that caused so much pain. Whatever it is, I am ready for it to be treated and released. In other words, I will be glad when the pain is gone.
By the way, my CA19-9 cancer indicator number has risen to 315. That is higher than last month's test, but not as high as the month before. Go figure. The doctors are finally beginning to think that this number is bouncing around due to something other than cancer.

When you say your prayers today, please thank Him for answering your prayer for me, and then ask him to continue to be with me as we find out whatever else is going on.
Thank you for being my prayer partners.

Tuesday, November 27

Over the past few weeks I have had some abdominal pain. Now, for most folks that is not a big deal. In fact, it may very well not be a big deal for me either. But when you are traveling a cancer journey, it is better to pay attention to those sorts of things. That being said, I am going to have a scan done today. I will find out tomorrow what the results of that scan are.
I do know this. No matter what the scan shows, I know that God already knows the results. Psalm 139 assures me that He knew every day that was before me even before my first day began. So I figure that God has everything under control. So, if He has me covered, there is no need for me to worry about it.
After all, it's all about Him.

Thursday, November 22

Every Thanksgiving is different for different folks.
Some folks have large families. Some folks have small families. Some folks have no family. Today is a good day to give thanks that you are a very important part of God's family.
Some folks have harmony in the family. Some folks have tension in the family. Today would be a great day to get over what ever it is that is causing the tension. Be thankful.
Some folks are celebrating because God has healed a loved one. Some folks are having a hard time celebrating because God has given the ultimate healing of death to a loved one. Today is the day just to thank God that He heals.
Some folks are giving thanks for a bright future. Some folks are struggling because of a diagnosis of an unknown future. Today is the day to thank God that He is in control and knows what is best for all of us.
Sometimes, as humans, it is not easy to give thanks. But it is much easier if we remember that - It's All About Him!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL OF MY BLOG FAMILY! GOD REALLY IS GOOD!

Tuesday, November 20

Yesterday was a special day to commemorate. It was one year ago on the Monday before Thanksgiving that we received the phone call from Duke that confirmed that I have pancreatic cancer. It has been one heck of a year, to say the least. God has blessed me with some awesome opportunities to share my faith with many people. This past Sunday evening my good friend Terry Johnson gave me the opportunity to share on WHFL-TV. What a privilege!

Each day this week I will reflect on what that week, one year ago, was like. As I think about the many emotions that I experienced, I remember two constants. I remember a weird trust in God like I had never had. And I remember a stronger love for Diane than I have ever had. Both God and Diane have been faithful during this journey.

I know that the Bible says that we should put our faith, not in humans, but in God. I am thankful that God has given me a very human Diane that I can also put my faith in.

Even if you do not have any human to trust, please know that God is always faithful. Give thanks.

Saturday, November 17

I'm sorry Blog family. My intentions are to blog two times per week, and here it is Saturday already. This past week has been a very busy and fulfilling week, and it is not even close to being over yet. I am praising God.
Two very important leaders at GC had surgery this week. Both of these men are strong in their faith and family life. And both of these men give the impression that nothing can shake them. Well, I can share with you first-hand that no matter how much faith one has, surgery can shake you. No, it does not make you less faithful. It makes you realize just how fragile you are and how fragile life itself is. And it makes you realize that real men do shake. I am thankful to report that both of these men are home and recovering well.
And I am thanking God that my nephew Tyler, whom we went to visit this week at the Burn Center in Chapel Hill, is healing so well that surgery will not be necessary. What a praise! Tyler is only 25 years old. But I pray that just like these two pillars of the church, he realizes that we don't have to be strong - we just need God, and He is strong.

Do you think that you are a rock? Try going to the Real Rock for your strength.
Lord, let it begin with Jerry.

Tuesday, November 13

I took the opportunity yesterday to spend a good part of the day with some good friends, Billy, John and Steve. We went to Aurora to do some trout fishing. It was a beautiful gift from God. Good friends, good weather and I caught the most fish. :-) That last part is even more funny when you realize that the three guys that I just mentioned are all experienced and skillful fisherman. I, by the way, am not.
Yesterday reminded me once again how blessed I am. It had nothing to do with me catching fish. It had everything to do with the realization that life is short and that we are never promised tomorrow here on earth. Every day is a gift from God. Cancer reminds me of that often. But you don't need cancer to remind you.
When is the last time that you stopped and reflected on God's gift of a day?

One of the many things that God wants me to do is to share my story whenever I can. I am going to share the message that I shared with New Hope Friends a few weeks ago. at the Bridge Church - Goldsboro Campus this Thursday evening at 7:00. The Bridge is located on Berkeley Blvd across from Delmus Hardware.

Thursday, November 8

When I was a very young boy I heard an old preacher use an expression that I have relied upon since that day. "Don't worry - I've read the back of the Book. We win!"

My prayer for the election was for God to send us a Godly man for President. I really don't believe that God answered that prayer in the way that I thought that He should. But isn't that just like God? He always hears and answers our prayers. He just doesn't always respond the way that we want Him to. Maybe God is telling us that we should not depend so much upon a Godly government as we should depend upon us being Godly people. Maybe we should not depend so much upon any man as we should depend upon Him. Maybe God is leading us to be a "people driven society" instead of a "government driven society." After all, that is the way that this great country began - by the people, for the people.

I once heard someone say that if you wanted a better preacher, then pray for the one that you have.
Maybe we should consider that - if we want a better president, then we should pray for the one that we have. If we want a better country, then pray for one another.

Praying for America and our all of our leaders.

Sent to me by my friend Kaye Thompson.

 

Dear Beloved God in Heaven

Please give us a president that loves this country and everything it stands for.
Please give us a president who respects you as the one true God.
Please give us a president who will, with your help, restore this nation to its former glory, the way you created her.
Please help us to respect what you have given to us and not take anything for granted ever again.
Please God weaken the evil and strengthen the good both without and within.
May our eyes be opened.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen
God Bless America

Friday, Saturday November 3

Happy Saturday blog family,
Daylight Savings Time officially ends tomorrow morning. If you are like me and you do not wish to get out of bed at 2 a.m. to reset your clock, then before you go to bed tonight you can turn your clock back one hour. The way that I remember which way to reset the clock is that in the fall I am to "fall back"  and in the spring I am to spring forward. (many of my clocks are now computerized and preset to do it without my assistance)
Some folks say that falling back one time per year reminds them to check the batteries in their smoke alarm, or to do other types of annual maintenance. I have thought of another way to make the most of this event.
On Sunday we will celebrate (at lease in our church) All Saints Day. That is the day that we remember and celebrate the lives of all of those who have gone on before us. This year I think that I will take this 'fall back ' day and remember those who are still with me who have meant so much to me during this past year. It will take hours and more for me to name each one. So many people have been so special during my cancer journey. Some know who they are. Some probably don't even realize how special that they have been to me.

I am sure that you have many people who have been extra special in your life during this past year also. Why don't you take this day to 'fall back' in your memory and name each one?

And remember to thank Jesus for sending each person to you. After all - it is all about Him!

Monday, Tuesday October 30

Here is the quote from the headlines on the WRAL news website this morning.

"Superstorm Sandy slammed into the New Jersey coastline with 80 mph winds Monday night and hurled an unprecedented 13-foot surge of seawater at New York City, flooding its tunnels, subway stations and the electrical system that powers Wall Street. At least 16 U.S. deaths were blamed on the storm, which brought the presidential campaign to a halt a week before Election Day."

"Which brought the presidential campaign to a halt." Sometimes God whispers in our ear. Sometimes God shouts in our faces. Life is more than political junk.

Pray for our neighbors to the north of us. We here in eastern NC know how to cope with these storms. Folks in that area of the country don't go through this as often as we do. They also have some additional challenges. We don't have subways and things like that. In many parts of that area it is flat and below sea level.

Please pray for them. God is still God, especially in the storms.

Friday, October 26

Diane and I exercised a very special privilege the other day. We voted. We never take this responsibility lightly. It is one of the many things that make this great nation what it is, and we are proud to be North Carolinians and Americans. We respect and are thankful for those who are willing to serve in government in any capacity, from a local to a national office. It is a tough job.

Although I do believe that it is important that we participate in the process, I don't worry too much about the outcome. I believe that God will work all things out. As one old preacher said, "I've read the back of the Book. We win!"

Billy Graham stirred up some controversy the other day when he paid for an ad in the Wall Street Journal, the USA Today, and in other newspapers.
Dr. Graham's picture appears prominently in the ads, next to copy that reads, "As I approach my 94th birthday, I realize this election could be my last." It continues, "I believe it is vitally important that we cast our ballots for candidates who base their decisions on biblical principles and support the nation of Israel. I urge you to vote for those who protect the sanctity of life and support the biblical definition of marriage between a man and a woman. Vote for biblical values this November 6, and pray with me that America will remain one nation under God."

At 94, I think Dr. Graham still has a handle on what God would have him say.

Have you voted yet?

Wednesday, October 24

I have news to share with you. One of the many tests that was done at Anderson in Texas was, of course, the dreaded cancer indicator - ca19-9.
Let me review for you. A normal ca19-9 is 40 or less. In March my number was 20. In June it was 70. In August it was 262. In September it was 480.
The labs in Texas showed my number at 175. They said that the difference could be because their labs might use a different testing technique, so we did not tell you about this number. (and we tried to not get too excited about it). Today we had the test repeated here in Goldsboro. The number today is 180 - basically the same as the Anderson number. Now we are excited! An elevating cancer indicator means that cancer is growing somewhere but is too small to pick up on scans. When I asked Dr. Chang what a decreasing cancer indicator meant, she just smiled and said "I have no idea. Just thank God."
So that is what we are doing. We are thanking God. Of course we thank Him for whatever happens to us, whether it seems good or bad to us. But today we thank Him for sharing encouraging CA19-9 news with us for the first time in 6 months.

Trust him in valleys and on mountaintops! Thank you Lord for the mountaintops.

Monday, October 22

(I used this as a sermon illustration yesterday, but in a bit of a different way)

It has been awhile since I have flown. In my former life at Southco I had the opportunity to utilize airplane travel much more. This past week Diane and I sat down in our seats. The flight attendant began to speak. I am sure that she has spoken these words thousands of times. Anyone who has ever flown has heard these same words on every flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention to the center aisle as our flight attendant gives you some safety information." He or she then breaks into the same old song. Here is how you fasten and unfasten your seat belts. This is what will happen in the event of a cabin pressure change. Here is how you use the face mask. Your seat cushion will serve as a flotation device. Notice the exit doors. Well, you get the picture.
Same familiar words . . .
The deal is, as I look around the plane, nobody is looking at the attendant. Nobody is listening. Why? I think that it is because of the same familiar words . . .

It is easy to get caught up in life so much that we feel that same way about how God is working in our lives. It's Monday. You go to work. You come home. You have a good family, or maybe even a great family. You watch a little TV, or maybe read or get on Facebook. The next day brings on more familiarity.

That is definitely not the way that it is in my world. If God has taught me one thing during our cancer journey (and He has taught me many things) it is that I can never get caught up in the familiar. Each and every day, God shows up in brand new ways. He does that in my life. He does that in your life also. It could be that cancer has made me more attentive.

Today, instead of listening for the same familiar words from God, listen with a brand new sense of what He is saying and doing in your life. You might be surprised.

After all; it's all about Him!

Friday, October 19

This morning we got what we came for from MD Anderson Cancer Center. A second opinion. They agreed with Duke that there are no signs of cancer on my scans. God is good! They also agreed with Duke that our next course of action should be to wait 3 months and do more tests.
When talking to the folks here in Houston, they do not seem to be as concerned about the cancer number (ca19-9) as my other cancer doctors. They indicated that the number could be elevated by something other than cancer, even though it could be caused by cancer that is there but just not visible.
We also got something else that we came for - a time of reflection, just Diane and I. Our conclusion: God is still in control. It's His plan. It's His time. It's all about Him!

Wednesday, October 17

As expected, yesterday was test day. We also met with Dr. Javle. He said that he would meet with his team and let me know what his recommendations are. It might be as late as Friday before I hear from him.
In the 1st chapter of the book of James it says that we should "count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that testing of your faith produces patience." I am convinced that James must have had to wait for tests results at some point in his life. It certainly has produced a lot of patience for me.

While I am quoting Scripture, Matthew, chapter 5 says we should "let your yes be yes and your no be no. For whatever is more than these is from the evil one." After watching last night's debate, it looks like the evil one is alive and well in our political system.

Monday, October 15

God just keeps on doing "God-things." He gave us an awesome GC Homecoming weekend. The GC Worship Team and David Steele led a worshipful service on Friday. Our 4th annual Run for Christ / Stroke Awareness 5K / 1mile fun run was the best ever. We had about 100 runners/walkers. We had some great sponsors. God gave us some beautiful cool weather. On Sunday we enjoyed a full house for worship and a full stomach for lunch.

We arrived in Houston late this afternoon. I had made reservations at one of the hotels here in Houston, but the hotel in person did not look anything like the hotel on the Internet (if you know what I mean). After a little discussion, (I didn't get ugly. It doesn't pay to get ugly while a God-thing is happening) the very nice man at the desk allowed us to cancel our reservations at that hotel and recommended another one. This other hotel is a God-thing. While we were checking in we met a lady right there in the lobby who is going to Anderson for cancer treatments. She was very encouraging.

By the way, if you ever go to Houston, a taxi ride from the Airport to downtown is $70.00. As my friend Greg Larimore said, "I'm not in North Carolina anymore." Oh, another God-thing. On Sunday somebody gave us enough money to cover the cab fare and more.

Can't wait to see what other God-things I will discover.
God-things can happen right where you are too. Are you watching?

Friday, October 12

Our sons have grown to be two terrific young men of whom I am so proud. Now, I understand that Diane and I didn't do everything politically correct according to all of those child rearing books. I can remember a time when they were small and they would occasionally like to have a "pity party." Nowadays I suppose that is called a "lack of self esteem." I guess that we could have been more compassionate, but many times when one of them wanted to whine about how life was treating them we would sing the song, "everybody hates me, nobody likes me, think I'll go eat worms." I know, that doesn't sound very warm and fuzzy, more sarcastic than anything else, but it certainly got our point across for Brad and Gabe to look at things differently.

Over these past months a pity party from lack of friends has not been necessary on our part. People from all walks of life have shown us so much support in so many ways. During these past days since we shared our news that our cancer journey is taking us to Houston Texas many people again have stepped up with words of encouragement, reminders that they are praying for us, and offers to help us in other ways. There are never enough words to express how much love we feel from other people.

It won't be necessary for us to go eat worms. We are blessed!

Wednesday, October 10

A few blogs ago I shared an old story about God sending two boats and a helicopter to a drowning man. Well, those boats and that helicopter was not a 'coincidence.' I don't really believe in luck or happenstance. I think that it was David Jeremiah who said that there are no accidents in God's arena.

A few weeks ago Dr. West asked me to consider checking into some clinical trials at a hospital in Houston, Texas. As it turns out, MD Anderson is the number one hospital in the country for GI Cancer. (which is what I have) I made contract with a good friend who has some experience at MD Anderson. He gave me a name. That person gave me another name. They asked to see my records. Then God-things began to happen. As a result, Diane and I will be traveling to Houston next week. We are not really sure what will happen after that. But we are real sure who does know, and we trust Him.

As I look back over my cancer journey, I can tell you with a firm conviction that I have never caused a door to open. But I can tell you that I surely have walked through many doors that God has opened. It looks to us as though God has opened another door. We are excited!

One note: We had a blessed time sharing my story with the fine folks at New Hope Friends church last night. I think that they heard the message loud and clear. Everybody has as story. Your story and my story is this: It's all about Him!

Think back. Has God ever opened a door for you to walk through? The result?
Have you ever tried to walk through a closed door? How did that work out for you?

Friday, October 5

Diane will tell you that I love it when I have a full schedule of ministry to do. I will admit that now and then I tend to get a bit overwhelmed by not having enough time to do all that I think that I need to do. Most of the time I can remind myself that God has everything in His plan in His time.

On that note, I need a few extra prayers for stamina over the next week or so. Because it is that time of the Methodist year, I have multiple meetings scheduled over the next 10 days. That means that I have multiple reports to fill out. It's our UMC connectional way of doing things. I have the awesome honor of preaching for the fine folks at New Hope Friends Church on Tuesday (October 9). I really am looking forward to that. I get to give my personal insight on my cancer journey as I have seen God through all of this. Wednesday is our Xtreme group. Thursday is our Beacons men's gathering. Beginning on Friday we have a full weekend of activities scheduled for our Garris Chapel Homecoming celebration October 12, 13, 14. Friday night is a night of worship with our Worship Team. Saturday is our fourth annual Run for Christ 5K. Sunday is a full day of worship, food and fellowship on Homecoming Sunday. As I have said, a little extra prayer for me would be good.

One last thing. I am sure that you watched the debates this past week - or not. If you are still struggling over whom you should vote for, or what issues are important, continue to pray about that. We are at a crossroads in our country, I believe. But remember this one thing. I have read the back of the book (the Bible) and we win! It's all about Him!

Wednesday, October 3

Childhood memories are good. My family didn't have a lot of extra spending money, so I don't remember going to a lot of places and doing a lot of things. But I do have one memory of going to the Wayne County fair one year. I really don't remember much of the fair. But I do remember riding in the back seat of the car and looking out the window as we approached the fairgrounds. There was this giant multicolored Farris wheel that could be seen for what seemed like miles away.
For years Diane and I have had the privilege of taking our two oldest granddaughters to that same fair. They both learned early on that we don't get hustled by the gamers. We visit the animals and the exhibits. We eat and we ride and we eat and we ride. We just have fun. This year we even had our youngest with us. My prayer is that, to the girls, this will be one of those special times with Papa and Minga that they will remember for a very long time. Oh, and I still watch for that Farris wheel.

Making memories. Have you done that with someone you love lately?

Friday, September 28

We went to see Dr. Chang on Wednesday. I really love talking to doctors who are the best in their field. I am not kidding. I really do believe that the doctors that I get advice from are the top of the line. I have so much respect, and obviously much trust, in their abilities. That is why I love to watch them as they talk about how much they don't understand about my cancer journey. Dr. Chang tried to help me by explaining that in all of the country, I am "just one of a handful of people" who have survived pancreatic cancer, survived the Whipple procedure, and am leading a normal life. Because of that, they are not really sure of what to make of my situation. (clear scans and rising cancer markers)

Did you read last week about the man who jumped from a train into a tiger's den? Did you hear the reason he gave for doing such a thing? He wanted to be "one with the tiger." He almost was one with the tiger. If officials had not rescued him, he would have been the tiger's dinner. I question his goal (and even his sanity), but you have to admire his determination.

I am so thankful that I don't have any desire to be one with a tiger. Instead, I like being one with Jesus, my Lord. When doctors don't understand my cancer journey, I just smile and say to them, "we don't have to understand everything. We just have to trust in the Lord."

Have you got stuff going on in your life that you don't understand? Maybe you ought to be as determined to be one with Jesus as this man was to be one with the tiger. I promise you - the result will be much different.

Wednesday, September 26

Today we go for our monthly "second opinion" appointment with Dr. Chang here in Goldsboro. So far, her thoughts have been the same as Dr. Zafar at Duke.
Someone asked me why I need to get a second opinion when my first opinion comes from one of the top cancer hospitals (Duke) in the country.The answer comes from an old preacher story. You probably have heard it.
A very religious man lives in an area that is being flooded by a hurricane. The water rises so quickly that it fills his entire home and he is standing on the roof, with no land in sight. A boat comes along and offers to take the man to safety, but the man replies "No thanks, the Lord has promised to take care of me." A few hours later the man is standing on his roof in waist deep water. Another boat comes by and begs the man to get in. Again the man refuses by saying, "The Lord will save me." A few hours later the man is standing on his roof with water up to his neck. A helicopter flies by and the rescuers shout to the man to grab the rope. But the man just shakes his head and declares again that the Lord will save him. In just a few more minutes the water rises above the man's head and he is drowned.
When this very religious man gets to Heaven, he questions God. "Why did you not save me, as you said that you would do?" God replies, "I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What else did you want me to do?"

I have ALL of the confidence in God. I KNOW that he has already shown us a miracle in my life. I also know that he continues to save me every day, just as he promised. So, if he sends me boats and helicopters in the forms of second and third opinions from different doctors and hospitals, why would I not pay attention?

Maybe you are in a situation today that you need for God to handle. Are you looking for his boats and helicopters?

It's all about Him!

Monday, September 24

Talking about enjoying life - I loved this weekend!
On Saturday Diane and I took advantage of the opportunity to go to Chapel Hill for a Carolina football game. One note: I like ECU. I pull for them except when they are playing UNC (and NCSU, because of Gabe). Anyway, it was great to be in all of that blue. Due to an invitation by Jorge and Faith Seigle we had great seats, and more importantly a special parking pass, which is a big deal at Kenan Stadium. It was a long day, but a special one.
On Sunday, we participated in two Spirit-led services at GC, then had lunch with our staff and a group of selected new folks, then attended the new Capital District celebration. Again, it was a long day, but a great one.
During my sermon, I shared how necessary it is for me to remember three things. I need to remember who I am (I was created by God), whose I am (Since He created me, I am His) and why I am (I am here for a purpose).

Thinking about those three things, I am looking for some awesome days to come.
How about you?

It's all about Him!

Thursday/Friday September 20

We just returned from the Duke Cancer Center. We were reminded today that we can depend upon our Lord. We were also reminded that God wants us to do that day by day, or month by month, or whenever.
The great news is that all of the scans that we took yesterday, both CT and PET, showed NO sign of cancer. (Thank you Jesus!) The not as great news is that my cancer indicator number continues to increase. It went from 262 to over 400 in the last thirty days. The oncologists are a bit baffled. They were sure that when that number (CA19-9) continued to increase, that they would see cancer on the scan. At least that is the way that it is supposed to work.

They don't understand - I think that I do. God is doing a His awesome physical work in me so that I can do whatever He wants me to do. And He has more for me to do. And, as I said, He wants me to depend completely upon Him. I tried to explain to Dr. Zafar that it is a God-thing. I'm not sure that he completely understands, but he suggested that we don't do another scan or test for three months.

I will share with you that last year when we were diagnosed, a long-time friend told me that she believed that God was going to work in an "unexpected" way. I think that she may be a prophet.

So we will continue to give God the praise and continue to totally depend upon Him daily. But then again, with or without cancer, aren't we supposed to do that anyway?

Wednesday, September 18

We go to Duke for blood tests and scans today. As you know, our past scans have shown no new signs of cancer, but the cancer indicator number from the blood test is elevated. We are doing a new scan today, but we don't anticipate that it will show anything new.
If how I feel is any indication, and they say that it is, then we are expecting good news tomorrow when we return for the results.
If how I look is any indication, this past weekend during our Harvest Sale I had lots of folks tell me that I look good. I love it when folks say that. I always say that I didn't look good before my surgery, so I really appreciate whatever the doctor did while I was asleep. But seriously, I know what folks mean when they say that. Having not seen me recently, they are expecting to see a thin, pale, bald cancer patient. When they see that you cannot even tell that I have cancer by the way that I don't look thin or pale, and my receding hairline is just taking its natural course :-), then they are surprised.

I know that God is good. I know that God loves me. I know that it is all about Him. Still, I would appreciate it if you would pray for a "39" for me. God knows what that means.
I promise to report my results here either Thursday night or Friday morning.

Friday, September 14

Since my goal here is to be completely honest and tell the entire story, maybe I should clarify a sentence in Wednesday's blog. I wrote that I found time to rest during each busy day. That sentence should have read "I try to find time to rest during each busy day." I do think that it is important for all of us to take some 'Sabbath' time each day. But I also realize that sometimes life gets in the way of what we need to do.
Also, the way that I look at my day may differ a bit from most. I love what I get to do every day! I really do! I look at each day as a way of serving God and serving others. You may look at your day that way as well. After all, there is no difference between our time and God's time. (you have to hear last Sunday's sermon to understand what I mean) Anyway, serving is what God has called ALL of His followers to do. Some get to do this every day. Some reserve the weekend for serving. This weekend about 200 of my GC church family will get the opportunity to serve during out annual Harvest Sale. This is just one of the ways in which we show our love for Jesus and those whom He loves.

Jesus says that ALL those who call themselves followers (Christians) are called to serve. How do you plan to serve him today? After all, it's all about Him.

Wednesday, September 12

One week from today we go back to Duke for more scans and blood tests. Here is how Diane and I handle it. When I am feeling good about my health, Diane feels good. When Diane is emotionally down about my health, I feel down about my health. We feed off of one another. So the only time that we really get down about our situation is when we both are feeling down. Pray that one of us continues to remember that it is all about Him.
One of the ways in which I gauge my condition is by my schedule and how well I am able keep it. According to these past days, I am as healthy as I have ever been. I preached three sermons on Sunday (two at GC and one at St. Paul UMC in Durham). I had two meetings and two sessions with folks on Monday. Yesterday I spent the day in Raleigh at a Clergy Day Apart sponsored by the Capital District of the UMC. The remainder of the week looks extremely busy, with the Harvest Sale coming up this weekend. I love it!

During this busy time, I have found (and will continue to find) time to take just a few minutes each day to stop and rest. No matter what condition our physical health is in, that is important for me and for you.

Friday, September 7

I had lunch yesterday with a very special friend of mine. I had the honor of preaching the funeral of his wife one year ago. This man has some rock solid faith. You can see it in his life and hear it in his voice. But you can also hear pain in his voice. Grief is painful. But that is not the only thing that is causing this man pain. This man wonders why, if he has so much faith, he continues to feel like everyone else who has lost someone they love to the grave.
It really did not come to me until after we had talked. But it seems that sometimes the more faith that we have, the more frustrated we get. I know. I have been there and done that. People with faith let God take care of everything. People with faith know that God is good and that His plans for us are good. People with faith realize God's blessings upon them.
But when people with faith find themselves in a situation where they know all of these things and still have those human thoughts and emotions, people with faith wonder if they have enough faith. And then it gets frustrating - even painful.

When I think about my faith, I remember this promise from Jesus to me. I only need faith the size of a mustard seed (which is very, very small).
When I think about my weakness, I remember this promise from Jesus to me. When I am at my weakest, He is at His strongest.

Today I pray for your day to be filled with small faith and weakness. It's all about Him!

Ask anyone living with cancer. If they are honest with you, they will tell you that the word "time" means something different than it did before their diagnosis. As I prepared for last Sunday's sermon, this concept became all the more clear to me.
I have always loved life. Diane will tell you that I have always been willing to try anything from skydiving to long road trips on a motorcycle. In my corporate life, for 29 years I was fortunate enough to work with a company that allowed me to move from the office to sales on the road to marketing and to most every other area within the organization. I have never been afraid to start a business on my own (and yes, build it myself without government entitlements). I have been blessed with an exceptional family, both before adulthood and during. I have been a believer for as long as I can remember. I accepted God's call to ministry at 40 years of age, and full time ministry at 50.
I suppose that what I am trying to say is this. As I look back, it seems as though I have always thought of time as "God's time" and "my time." The truth is, He has always been with me, even when I was not aware of His presence. It is all His time.

Time now has a different meaning. It seems to be more precious. Someone traveling the cancer journey tends to think that way. But shouldn't all of us think that way?

How will you spend God's time today?

Friday, Saturday September 1

Happy Labor Day weekend!
Have you ever noticed that holidays are seldom celebrated for the cause upon which they were originated? Things like Santa at Christmas and bunnies at Easter tend to take away the meaning. It is not just religious holidays that come to mind. Memorial day is much more known for cookouts than it is for those who gave the ultimate sacrifice while serving in our military.

Labor Day has lost its original meaning also, and I am really happy about that. At the turn of the 20th century, Labor Day was a way to kiss up to organized Labor. It was a celebration of the workers' unions. But here is what Wikipedia says about today's holiday.

"Labor Day has come to be celebrated by most Americans as the symbolic end of the summer. In high society, Labor Day is (or was) considered the last day of the year when it is fashionable to wear white or seersucker. In U.S. sports, Labor Day marks the beginning of the NFL and college football seasons. NCAA teams usually play their first games the week before Labor Day, with the NFL traditionally playing their first game the Thursday following Labor Day. The holiday is now regarded as a day of rest and parties."

 

So remember that this weekend is the last weekend to wear your white or seersucker fashion.

And yes, get ready for some football!

 

Wednesday, August 29

The first thing that I did this morning, of course after my shower and pouring my first cup of coffee, was to check the news on the Internet concerning Hurricane Isaac. Living in North Carolina, I know what it is like to see and hear the storm coming, and then to experience it. Storms can be tragic at worse, a serious inconvenience at least. Thinking about that makes me appreciate my shower and my coffee even more. It makes me appreciate the calmness that I see outside my window this morning. It reminds me that God continues to be in control.
Easy for me to say. The storm is in the Gulf, not in the Atlantic. I am watching it from 900 miles away.
My prayer is for the folks who are in the middle of the storm right now. It is often not easy when you are in the middle of the storm. I pray that they will experience peace that only Jesus gives. I pray that they will experience first-hand that Jesus is in storms.

Lord, let it begin with Jerry.

Monday, August 27

Have you ever tried to balance yourself? On Saturday, we had a great time at Lake Gaston with my family. (Actually it is Diane's family, but after well over 40 years nobody knows the difference. We are all family) Someone had something that I had never seen. It was a board, somewhat like a surf board, but much larger. The idea was to stand on the board with oar in hand and paddle along the water. I discovered that it was much harder than it looked. If perfect balance was not practiced, the person surely fell. I really enjoyed watching the adults try to master the board.

I had a great time on Saturday. Besides watching the adults attempt the board, watching the little ones play in the water was entertaining and relaxing. Being outside near the water with people that I love was good. I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about my health, or about my schedule, or any of those type of issues. I don't take the time to do that very often. It was refreshing.
On Sunday, I think that I witnessed more people hungry for God than I have ever witnessed. The altar at GC was filled. As people got up, more people came until it was filled again. It was indeed a special time of fellowship with our Lord. Being in the worship service was spiritually refreshing.

For me, the combination of Saturday and Sunday was an example of balance. How are you doing with balance in your life?

Friday, August 24

One of the most overused preacher illustrations concerns God's care for us.
There was a man who lived in an area where flood waters were rapidly rising. It became necessary for him to go from the first floor to the second floor of his home. As the waters continued to rise, the only dry place for the man was on the roof of his house. A rescue personnel with a boat came by, but the man refused to get on the boat, insisting that the Lord would take care of him. A few hours later another rescue boat came by, but again the man refused to go aboard, declaring that the Lord would save him. Finally, with the flood waters almost up to the man's neck as he was standing on his roof, a rescue helicopter came by. But alas the man refused to go, still declaring his faith in the Lord.
Of course the man drowned. As he stood before God the man asked God why he had not cared for him and saved him. The Lord replied, "I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What else did you want me to do?"

God has sent to me many special health care specialists. Some have been at Duke. Some have been in Goldsboro. God has sent me many encouragers. God has sent boats and helicopters. I have faith in God, but believe me when I say that I have taken advantage of those whom God has sent. Please continue to pray for me as I consider every boat and helicopter that He sends my way.

Have you overlooked one of God's boats or helicopters today?

It's all about Him!

Adam Hamilton on Religious faith and Presidential Candidates

Click here to read this article:

Adam Hamilton

Wed /Thursday August 23

On Tuesday evening the folks of the Garris Chapel community poured out their love and support for my sister in law Debbie Capps and my friend and church member Jean Brieske. GC hosted a bedefit for these two ladies. The money was good, but the support and love that was shown was better. I know this to be a fact. That is the way that I felt not too long ago when folks came out for a benefit in my honor. I know that God is pleased with my GC family.

Have you shown your love and support to someone today?
Lord, let it begin with Jerry

Monday, August 20

I am not sure when it happened. I think that it was too far back for me to remember. I am not sure how or where it happened. Maybe it was at a little country church in Pinkney, N.C. when I was a child, or at Woods Grove Church when I was a youth. Whenever it was, it continues even stronger today than it ever has. I fell in love with church! Yesterday at our first service I went to the altar, quickly followed by Diane, and then joined by many folks in my GC family. The altar at GC church is a special place. Jesus is there.

I know, Jesus is everywhere. But now and then I look around in this world and in my personal life and ask the question, "where in the world is Jesus?" That is why I feel led to preach a sermon series of that title. As I began that sermon series yesterday, I submitted to my folks that Jesus is in the same place today as he was over 2000 years ago. So we are looking in the gospels to see where Jesus went then, so that we might get an understanding of where He is today. Yesterday, referring to the 4th chapter of the gospel of Luke, we began where we first read about Jesus as an adult. We began by noting that Jesus was in church.
Yes, Jesus is in my hope and in my dissapointments; in my successes and in my failures; in my struggles and in my strengths; in my tears and in my laughter; in my life now and in my life to come. But for me, I know that Jesus is in church.

Have you ever looked around at this world and asked the question "where in the world is Jesus?"
Send me an email with your answer to that question.

Friday, August 17

Regarding my health:
I feel better than I have since before my surgery back in November. I have gained most of my weight back (I lost 35 pounds). I now eat anything and everything that I want. Although I do not have all of my stamina back, I am able to work full time and do most of the things that I need to do for the church and my sheep. Of course, even before I got sick, finding time to do all of the things that I need to do was dang near impossible, so that has not changed.
As you know, we returned to Duke yesterday to talk to Dr. Zafar regarding the results from my blood tests and my scans. Dr. Zafar was very pleased when I told him how I have been feeling. He was also very pleased to report that the scans show no new cancer. However, he continues to be concerned about a cancer indicator called CA19-9 that has continued to show elevated readings. During our last appointment six weeks ago we had hoped that this number was a false read. Since the number continues to increase, the doctor thinks that there may be more to it. But, since the scans do not show anything at all, he does not recommend that we "act" on the number right now. He did recommend that we retest with more scans in four weeks, instead of the previous plan of testing every three months. Diane and I agreed.

So that is where we are. You know everything that we know. Oh, unless you have not been reading my blog in the past and you need to be reminded that "It's all about Him!" I continue to have faith that God is using this for His glory.

How is God using you and your journey today for His glory?

Monday, August 13

Life is definitely not a straight road, is it? There are so many turns between point A and point B.

Sometimes the road has some beautiful scenery. This is what I found last week while on my family vacation at the beach. We borrowed an absolutely beautiful beach house with plenty of room for everyone. From the back deck, we had a view of miles of water in the sound. When we made the short trip across the road, we were able to sit and admire the spectacular view of ocean waves as they came to shore. Sometimes the waves came gently around us. Sometimes the waves came crashing to the shore. On Friday Diane insisted that we enjoy this view of the ocean in fierce wind conditions. Of course, Diane loves the ocean so much that she thought it was cool. Me - not so much. (But that is a story for another time).

Sometimes the view is pretty good. Today and tomorrow I am at a workshop sponsored by the Duke Endowment. Most of my view will be the inside of a conference room. Even though the conference is at the Hilton Hotel, and I will be sharing the day with some fellow pastors that I enjoy talking to, I will still be in a conference room.

Sometimes the view is a bit more foreboding. On Wednesday, Diane and I will travel to Durham for my blood tests and scans. On Thursday we will go back to Duke to meet with the doctor regarding the results. This is a view with which I am very familiar. It is a view that is necessary. But it is one that could give me some unrest if I allow it to.

No matter where I am, or what the view is, I am reminded that God has already been there before me. Nothing that I see or do will surprise Him.

What is your view today? God has already been there. Nothing you see or do today will surprise Him. Remember; it's all about Him.

Thursday, August 9

I must apologize to all of you who take the time and trouble to check my blog. I really do appreciate your interest and your love for me. It had been my custom to post on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday/Saturday.
I have been on vacation this week with my entire family. It has been some very special and fun days at the beach. It has also been a time of rest and relaxation. But as a result, I have not kept up the blog.

I am sure that I will have some personal illustrations concerning my health and my many blessings in just a few days. After all, it is still all about him!

Friday, August 3

Heard enough about the Chic-Fil-A issue? Me too. That is what the enemy wants all of us to think. He wants us to make this past Wednesday a once and done event, never to be discussed again. Christians rallied support for Mr. Cathy and his right to express his belief about the definition of marriage. Of course, we rallied because we agree with Mr. Cathy, but at least we agree in mass about something. One of the things that I liked about Wednesday was that, as I was standing in a long line at CFA, I looked around at the people there. Everyone was patient, kind, polite and even smiling. Even me, and I can't remember a time when I was patient enough to wait 45 minutes for a chicken sandwich. Christians were actually acting like Christians. I loved it!
My prayer is that this type of event would not be a once and done deal. I would hope that Christians would rally around the homeless issue, the hunger issue, the abortion issue, the addiction issue, the breakdown of the family issue, the issue of loneliness, sadness, hopelessness, the most important issue of lost souls, and so many other issues that our Lord taught us to care about.
My prayer is that all of those people who were at Chic-Fil-A on Wednesday will be at the altar at church on Sunday asking God to lead us, both individually and as His Church, in whatever rally He chooses.
Lord, let it begin with Jerry.

See you in church!
It's all about Him!

August 1

It is almost scary how "normal" I have been feeling the last few days, physically that is. I don't know that I have ever been normal in any other ways. The only drawback might be that I was really, really tired last night after two great but long days of working in my church office, writing, preparing, talking to people, seeing new people, and trying to help people. God has surely blessed me.

Today is August 1st. If you do not receive my Tuesday morning Keeping In Touch through my email contacts, here is some of what I wrote yesterday:

Make no mistake about it. As pastor, I can promise you that Garris Chapel UMC is open to “people of all ages, nations, and races,” as our UMC baptismal covenant states. But also know that I support traditional family values, and like Mr. Cathy of Chic-Filet fame, I believe in the Biblical definition of marriage. That means that I believe what God said in Genesis when he said that “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24).

Some folks have misquoted God when it comes to the Bible. While it is true that if you read the Old Testament, which certainly is part of the Bible, you may note that the Jewish people did not always obey that mandate. They had rules for multiple wives, as well as rules for brothers taking their brother’s wife as theirs under circumstances. In fact, even Solomon, the wisest man in the world had more wives and women than he could count. (Okay, so he wasn’t wise about women) But what folks may not realize is that God did not condone this part of the Jewish culture.

God's definition of marriage was and always will be one man and one woman. As Mr. Cathy has said, we have no business trying to redefine what God has already defined.

I am not homophobic. I am not afraid of civil unions. I am not afraid of any group of people. I don’t hate anyone. I want everyone to come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Everyone.

And I will see you at Chic-filet on Wednesday, August 1st.

Monday, July 30

I think that my couple of days rest did me a world of good. Besides being so thankful for God's creation and those whom He has given to me to share, I feel better physically than I have in several weeks. I was strong all day yesterday; two Spirit-filled services, lunch with the family, a meaningful gathering of my vision team, and then Diane and I visited some new friends in the GC family. Thank you Lord, for abundant life both now and eternally.

During our visit last evening with this great couple, we discovered that Ben was diagnosed with cancer and had surgery almost five years ago. He is approaching his "cancer free" mark. I have a while to go before I reach that mark, but I am pressing on toward that goal.
I have found that all cancer survivors that I have met share a common thread. Whenever we have a pain anywhere in our body, we "wonder" if there is something going on with cancer. Living with cancer can be a stressful thing. I don't care who you are, it can make you have stinkin' thinkin'. But for me, those thoughts don't last very long. I know who is in charge of whatever happens to me, and I trust Him and His plan for my life. After all, it is all about Him!

What you are going to face today might not be cancer, but it might be something very stressful. You might not be able to stop your stinkin' thinkin' for a while. But can you trust Him? As my four year old Sally Ann says, "Oh yes you can!"

Friday, Saturday July 27,28

God has really given me a special gift the last couple of days. On Wednesday, Diane and I spent the day enjoying His creation. We rode to the beach, had lunch on the water, walked on the beach and enjoyed the ride there and back. Everywhere we looked we saw beauty. On Friday, Gabe and I, along with two of his coworkers, played golf at a beautiful golf course. (Great job Brad Edens, golf course supt.) We had a fun time. I don't know how many times that I told Gabe how beautiful God's scenery was that day. Yes, it got hot near the end of our round, but it was well worth that little inconvenience. As for how I have physically handled it, I had pretty good stamina. And this morning, I feel great.

God's beauty, my physical ability to enjoy it, and special people to enjoy it with. Life it good because "It's all about Him!" I am one blessed man.

Oh, and you are blessed also. He created His beauty and has put special people in your life. He has given you the ability to enjoy it. Have you done that lately?

Wednesday, July 25

Forty one years ago God looked down on me and said, "Here is the best blessing you will ever receive." Somehow he put it in Diane Vinson's heart to marry me - for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health. She and I have experienced all of those circumstances, and she has always been there. I think that she might agree with something that Ruth Graham, wife of Billy Graham once said when asked if she had ever consider divorcing Billy. Here reply was, "divorce never; murder maybe."

There is nothing that I can give her today more precious than my time. So we plan to spend the entire day together.

If you have someone you love, there is nothing more precious than time. Give them some.

Monday, July 23

Listening to my body, like listening to my wife, is a good thing. As I shared on my last post, I have had a few days of not feeling so well physically. On Friday I ran a low grade fever and was in some pain. Now, I don't know that Dr. Diane is always right. Okay, so she is always right, but on Friday I backed out of a fishing trip that was planned for Saturday. (That caused more pain) I spent some extra time in prayer. Then I spent all day Saturday simply resting, or at least that's what I called it. Anyway, what I did has certainly made a difference. I had a great day yesterday. We preached two services, went to lunch with my family, and met with my vision team yesterday evening. I felt strong all day. God is good!!!

Yesterday, I used this illustration. Many years ago Mr. Reese took some Hershey chocolate and combined it with his peanut butter and made an awesome new thing called Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. I shared a 1980's Reese's TV commercial about how two people, one who's passion was chocolate and one who's passion was peanut butter, ran into each other and got the chocolate and peanut butter mixed. The result was a Reese's Cup. My question was this. What would happen if we took our chocolate (passion) and combined it with God's passion (peanut butter)? What new thing could God do with that?

For me, my passion is my calling to pastoral ministry. When I mix it with what God wants me to do, I have strength to do it. I think that is what happened yesterday. Some Reese's Cups were made. I don't know how it will all turn out, but God does. Thank you Lord for using my chocolate.

What are you doing with your chocolate today?

Friday, Saturday, July 20,21

The last couple of days have not been very good ones for me physically. I am still confident in the Lord's healing, so not to worry. It's all about Him.
Like everyone else on the planet, I am saddened by the shootings at the theater in Arizona. As I was wondering what we can make of this I found this blog through FaceBook. I don't know this lady, but I think that she has put everything into perspective. Here are some excerps from her blog.

(Maybe, just maybe God spared my life because He loves YOU and wants you to hear this..He wants you to believe that He loved you so much He gave His only begotten Son that if you would believe in Him you would have eternal life.)
“So, you still believe in a merciful God?” Some of the comments online are genuinely inquisitive, others are contemptuous in nature. Regardless of the motive behind the question, I will respond the same way.
Yes. Yes, I do indeed. Absolutely, positively, unequivocally. Let’s get something straight: the theater shooting was an evil, horrendous act done by a man controlled by evil. God did not take a gun and pull the trigger in a crowded theater. He didn’t even suggest it. A man did. In His sovereignty, God made man in His image with the ability to choose good and evil. Unfortunately, sometimes man chooses evil.

I was there in theater 9 at midnight, straining to make out the words and trying to figure out the story line as The Dark Night Rises began. I’m not a big movie-goer. The HH and I prefer to watch movies in the comfort of our own home…where I can use subtitles and get a foot rub. I don’t like action movies. And I don’t like midnight showings. But, as I wrote in my last post, parents sometimes make sacrifices for their kiddos and I decided I would take my fourteen year old and sixteen year old daughters who were chomping at the bit to see this eagerly anticipated third movie in the Batman Trilogy. Twice I had the opportunity to back out and twice I was quite tempted. But something in me said just go with your girls. I did. So I was there with them, fidgeting in my seat, some forty or fifty feet away from the man with the gun. It’s still a bit surreal, but I do know that when the seemingly endless shooting started, as my girls were struggling from whatever gas or chemical had been released, and we figured out what was happening, we hit the floor. I threw myself on top of my fourteen year old who was on the end of the row, straight up the aisle from the shooter. In that moment, as the rapid-fire shots continued, I truly thought I was going to die. And I realized that I was ready. I have put my faith and trust in Jesus Christ as the redeemer of my soul, and there wasn’t the slightest doubt that I would be received into heaven, not because of any good thing that I have done but because of His merciful nature and the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Still, as I lay over my daughter, I began praying out loud. I don’t even remember what I prayed, but I don’t imagine it really matters. I’m sure it was for protection and peace. It drew me closer into the presence of God. When there was a pause in the shooting, people began to clamor for the exits. The girls and I jumped up and joined the masses. We had to step over a lifeless body, not knowing where the shooter was. We raced to our car and I dumped my purse, frantically searching for keys, looking all around, prepared to hit the ground. I yelled at Michelle to call Matthew and find out if he had made it out of the theater next door. She did. He did. We booked on out of there.

Why would you think such a tragedy would make me question the goodness of God? If anything, both of my girls said it made Him a much more real presence to them.He is not the cause of evil, but He is the one who can bring comfort and peace in the midst of evil. It’s been amazing to see the outpouring of love from so many people after this unthinkable act. Yes, there was one evil act, but it is being covered by thousands, possibly millions of acts of kindness.
Though we don’t have all the answers, we do indeed listen to the cry of our hearts: When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid. What can mere man do to me? Psalm 56:3-4
God is always good. Man is not. Don’t get the two confused. We will continue to praise and worship our mighty God, anticipating that He will bring beauty from ashes, as only He can do.

Marie

Wednesday, July 18

Diane and I voted yesterday. I was pleased to learn this morning that many of the folks that I voted for won. Of course, this was only a primary, so these people will have to run against another opponent in November. As we voted I had two thoughts.
One: What a great country we live in! We get to vote for our leaders. Our choice, our vote, does count.
Two: As I looked at the names of those running for local offices, I thought about much I admire anyone who wants to serve their community in this way. City Council, Mayor and offices such as these are thankless jobs, I am sure. But I am thankful that someone has the passion to do it.

The Bible says that we should pray for those in authority. Today I pray for those who are currently serving, in whatever capacity, to lead our community. I pray that his/her passion and commitment is in the right place and focused on serving the way that Christ would have them to serve.

What is your passion? How are you serving?
Lord, let it begin with Jerry.

Monday, July 16

It was a special time, but somewhat bewildering. Yesterday during one of the worship services at GC I felt the power of the Holy Spirit all over me. It was a bit different than I have experienced in the past. I am not sure how to describe it. It was His power, yet it rendered me almost speechless. The tears wanted to flow, but I did not know why. The words were in my throat, but I had such a difficult time getting them to come out of my mouth. Since that time, I have been pondering what reasoning was behind this Presence.
I have been extremely concerned about the state of my community, my country and the world lately. I have been even more concerned about the state of all of Christ's churches, but especially GC. (GC is the one that I know the best, of course). I have been fervently praying for those who need Christ in so many different ways. There are so many burdens that I share with my GC family, as well as others. Could it be that yesterday, as Paul wrote in Romans 8:26, His spirit was praying for me when I did not know what to pray for?

Now, don't take this next statement any way but face value. I do not have any more information about my personal health than I have shared. I feel physically fine. Nothing has changed in the last few weeks. But I think that yesterday I felt the Holy Spirit reminding me of the urgency of the situation.
If  God allows me to preach one more week or one more decade, the message is still urgent. It's all about HIM! If God allows me to live on this earth one more day or twenty more years, the message is still urgent. It's all about HIM!

Look at your schedule today (or tomorrow, or this week). Does it reflect that it is all about you. Or does it reflect that it is all about Him?

Friday, July 13

Today is Friday the 13th. If you are believe in luck, then this day may have some eery meaning for you. Beware of black cats and walking under ladders. If you believe that Jesus is Lord of everything, every day, then this is the day that the Lord has made. If you agree with Max Lucado that “If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning... Face it, friend. He is crazy about you! ” then this day will have a different meaning.
When I think about my journey with cancer I realize that every day is a gift from God. Happy Friday the 13th!

Wednesday, July 11

I had the honor of preaching at Woods Grove PFWB Church last Sunday evening. The 'P' stands for Pentecostal. That's right, a Methodist preacher at a Pentecoastal church. Who would have thought it? Okay, so I grew up at Woods Grove and I have preached there several times in the past, so maybe I have an inside advantage. They already love me and I love them. I went to share some of my testimonly regarding our journey with cancer. I shared with the folks there that people of every demonination have been praying for my healing. The prayers have certainly been heard by our Lord.

When I think about it, there are a couple of things that really strike me.
First: Prayers work! Just as James said in his book in the New Testament, "And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up." (NKJV)
Second: God does not give a squat about denominations. I have had people from every Christian denomination praying for me. I may have had folks from other faiths praying also, and I appreciate their kind thoughts, but unless the prayers are prayed in the name of Jesus, they are pretty useless. As Paul wrote to the Galatians in the New Testament, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus." (NKJV) The last three words are the key: in Christ Jesus. There is neither Methodist nor Pentecoastals nor Baptist nor Presbyterians, nor Lutherans; for we are all one in Christ Jesus."

I am thankful for prayers of faith from all who are in Christ Jesus.
Keep praying.

Monday, July 9

I must admit, when it comes to Sunday morning, I look forward to GC worship. I don't take God's pulpit lightly and I don't give it up lightly. So when we scheduled Eric Horner to take the entire service with his music I was a bit skeptical. But again God showed me that it is all about Him. Every song that the man sung was a sermon. God both blessed and inspired the GC family through Eric and his music.
One of the many things that God reminded us through the service yesterday was that the family structure and  the family concept was ordained by God and is a major target of the enemy. When I think about it like that, my heart breaks as I look at the many victories that the enemy has in destroying individual homes.
I pray that the leaders of this great nation will realize how important the family structure is.
I pray for those whose families are being attacked even now.

Friday, July 6

Although I am not one, there is something that I like about liberals. It is not their political agenda that I admire. I really think that when it comes to that area, liberals are Socialists and I have a serious problem with Socialism. It is not their willingness to speak out that impresses me. In fact, in spite of the fact that there are millions of people who like the direction that this administration is taking our country, I have only talked to one or two people who will admit it.
What I do like about the one liberal that I know personally is that he has a good heart. He really has passion for his fellow human, no matter what nationality or color or other persuasion that person might be. He also has a sincere desire to take care of others. That is what I like about liberals. They really mean well. But they make the huge mistake of thinking that the government has been called to do what individuals are called to do. It has been proven for centuries that this simply does not work.

What really bothers me is when they bring Jesus into the fray with misquotes and misrepresentation. Jesus called each of us, you and me, to care for the least of these. He explained that we would be known as followers of His by the way that we loved one another. Jesus said that we should love God with everything that we have, and that we should love our neighbor as much as we love ourselves. That is what Jesus said. He never asked the Roman government to take care of the needy. He never said that he would judge a group of people for ignoring the plight of others. He said that he would judge each person individually. He said that he would separate the individual persons into two groups - one who did unto the least of these, and one who did not.

Taking care of those who cannot take care of themselves is my job. It is your job.
Lord, forgive me when I don't do my job.

Wednesday, July 4

As we celebrate our national freedom today, don't forget that our freedom did not come free. It was very costly. Many people gave much so that we could live in country based upon freedom. One of the basic freedoms upon which America was founded was one of freedom OF religion. I am sure that our founders never imaginied that the concept would be so misinterpreted that we would become a country based upon freedom FROM religion.
Christians have caved to the voices of a few in the name of tolerance. If we would have caved 236 years ago, we would be under the tyranny of another country and God would have raised up another nation to proclaim His Son Jesus as the only Way.

Just as our national freedom did not come free, neither did our personal freedom. Jesus paid the ultimate price on the cross so that we could be free. Let us proclaim it:
I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ as the power of God unto salvation for ALL who believe. (Romans 1:16)

Lord, let it begin with Jerry.

Monday, July 2

Yesterday was another Holy Spirit filled day at GC.
Our new D.S. Jon Strothers attended the first service. He was very kind and supportive.
We had the Rossers, missionaries to Guatemala bless us between the two services.
Diane and I had lunch with the Rossers, Briggs and Seiglie families following the service.
Then I went home and did not move from my recliner. God is good!!

This morning I am heading to Duke to be with the Larimore family. They have been a very faithful and inspiring part of the GC family for a long time. For several years Greg and Linda have known that their two children have a heart condition that could one day require heart transplants. The go to Duke periodically to have heart caths to measure their condition. Today is the day that they have those tests. Daniel and Ashley are two really good young people.God has a plan for their lives, I just know it.

I am thankful that God has provided people like the Larimore family that have encouraged me during my sickness, even while they are going through theirs. I want to encourage them in return.

Today is Monday. Do you have struggles in your life? Find someone else who needs encouraging and go to that person. You might be surprised to see what happens.

I have spent the last couple of days thinking about my brother in law. Lynn Taylor at Rouse Funeral Home wrote this for his obit. It pretty much describes him perfectly.
Craig served four years with the United States Navy. He then embarked on a forty year career as a professional truck driver and for the last twenty seven years worked with Southeastern Freight. He was a member of Garris Chapel United Methodist Church. Craig was well known for his sense of humor, his ability to tell a story and his love of family and children. He was an avid follower of UNC basketball, enjoyed surf fishing, a round of golf, cooking on the grill and cutting the grass. Craig also enjoyed Western movies and attending air shows with his brother.

Craig was diagnosed with cancer in December of last year, about a month after I was diagnosed. One of the traditions in our family was that Craig would cook homemade biscuits for everyone on Christmas morning. Last year when Diane and I were about to leave his house, Craig walked up to me and said, "Brother in law, this might be the last Christmas biscuits that we have together." I never for one minute would have thought that his prophesy would come to pass. In fact, I would surely have thought that I would be the one to go first.

News flash: God has a plan. It's all about Him.
Are you ready for it?

Tuesday, June 26

My heart is heavy today. I was at the hospital earlier this morning to be with my friend and brother in law, Craig Capps during his last hours on this earth. Craig was a special guy. Everyone who worked with Craig loved his personality. He was fun to be around on the golf course. Not once did I ever call Craig to help me do anything that he turned me down. He was diagnosed with cancer last December. We talked a lot about traveling the cancer journey together. I never thought that he would go so soon. But I trust God completely that it is part of His plan. Pray for trust and strength for Debbie and the family as they go through the coming days.

Do you trust in His plan?

Saturday evening June 23

Okay, so the Peanuts Gang did not actually sing to me, but some other people have. And I have had two great days celebrating my birthday. Yesterday I did some visiting with good friends, went to the church office, mowed the lawn and went to dinner with my honey. These are things that I like to do.
Today I arose early, as usual, and fished for a while. Then about 30 of my immediate family members came to my house to help me celebrate with a great meal. We had a wonderful time of fellowship. (The only downside was that my brother in law Craig is so sick that he and his family were unable to come. Please keep the Capps family in your prayers.)

It is impossible to explain just how blessed I feel. God is soooooo good to me! I can hardly wait to see what He has in store for me. It truly is all about Him!

Do you realize how blessed you are? Think about it. He has a purpose for you too.

Thursday, June 21

So, here is the deal. We went to Duke today to receive the results of my scan and blood tests. It was not exactly the news that we had hoped for. When Dr. Zafar came into the room, we noticed that he had some concern on his face. He shared with us that the scans looked the same as they did three months ago - no cancer. Yes! However, his concern is that my CA19-9 number is up. This is the number used to detect and measure cancer cells. Three months ago my number was 20, which is well below the accepted number of 37 or less. This month my number is 70, almost twice the number.
Since this did not make sense to us, he explained. Either the CA19-9 is a false reading (that would be good) or I have cancer that was not detected by the scan (not my preference).
How are we going to know which is correct? We have scheduled another blood test and scan in about six weeks.
Without faith this would be one loooong period of time for Diane and me. With faith, it is still a lot to think about for what will seem like a long time. But we will continue down the same road which we have been traveling since November 20. 2011, the day that I was diagnosed. And then we will remind each other that -
It's all about HIM!

Thank you for following my blog, and thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers.

Wow! It is hard to explain where my thoughts and feelings are today. I left Goldsboro on Monday, riding on the funeral coach with Bruce from Seymore Funeral Home. In the back was Mr. Bill Brieske. We were escorted the entire time by 17 motorcycles from the M25 Christian Motorcycle gang. We stopped in Virginia just short of Arlington for the night. The next morning we completed our journey to Arlington National Cemetery with a total of 5 bikes in front of us and 20 bikes behind us. Those guys are special. Then I experienced being the chaplain at the graveside with full military honors - caisson, band, 21 gun salute, taps, folding of the flag and all of the detail that goes with all of that. Thoughts and feelings - Awesome!

As we were returning home late yesterday evening, Diane called me to tell me that my brother in law Craig received some discouraging news. It looks like his cancer does not want to give up. It looks like it is in his liver in a big time way. Thoughts and feelings - immense sadness.

We will leaver here in a few minutes to travel to Duke for my 3 month scan. We will return to Duke tomorrow so that the doctor can give us the results of the scan. Thoughts and feelings - confidence, then concern, then confidence, then concern. . .

I sure am glad that no matter where our thoughts and feelings are, God's thoughts and feelings are always centered around His love for us. Aren't you?

Sunday June 17

Happy Fathers Day!

Just as an update; I watched conference on Friday via the web. Yesterday (Saturday) I went to Raleigh for the ordination service and the fixing of the appointments. I did great! No abs pain. God is good! By the way, I am excited to share that I was reappointed to Garris Chapel for another year.

Today is Father's Day. I have posted a picture of my Dad. What I remember growing up was that my dad was "a good man." Everyone in the community knew who he was. I remember that he was a good provider for his family. But I don't remember him being a "loving" husband or father. During my mama's 5 year illness with strokes, my dad's love emerged. He took care of my mama's every need in every way. He was right there til the end. Even now, his love continues to emerge. He tells my brothers and I that he loves us each time that he sees us. When I was diagnosed with cancer, he took it worse than I did.

What I realize today is that my father is a man of God. My prayer is that my children will think that of me.

What do your children think of you?