Tired. Long day. We saw my oncologist this morning. His message was not too encouraging. His take was that we need to decide whether we should continue taking more and stronger meds or agree to take more chemo. We saw my surgeon this afternoon. His message was a bit more encouraging. He is setting me up for another type of a pain block. This should allow me to get better sooner. And this should allow us more time to decide if and when we need to take chemo again.
I am more convinced than ever that It's all about Him.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Thursday, July 25
When you are traveling the cancer journey, every day is special, every person is special, and every thing is special. That being said, when you are traveling the cancer journal, your wedding anniversary is special, your love mate is special, and the fact that God has allowed 42 years of being together is special. Yes, today is my anniversary.
I realize just how much Diane loves me. There is no way that she could stick by me as she has if she did not. I often wish that I could show my love for her as much as she shows me.
God put us together for sure. There is no way that I could make it without her. So, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Diane. I love you.
If you have someone that you need to say "I love you," don't wait. Do it now.
I realize just how much Diane loves me. There is no way that she could stick by me as she has if she did not. I often wish that I could show my love for her as much as she shows me.
God put us together for sure. There is no way that I could make it without her. So, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Diane. I love you.
If you have someone that you need to say "I love you," don't wait. Do it now.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Tuesday, July 23
"What day is this?" I can't even count the times that I have asked Diane this question these past days. Over the course of my journey I have asked this question of Diane more times than I can remember, but these past days have really been more of a blur than I have experienced. I entered a blog post about our visit last week. But then after staying home for a few days, last Thursday we returned to Wayne Memorial. What I do remember very clearly is that on Thursday morning I began to have pain like I have never experienced in my entire life. On that famous scale "how would you rate your pain on a scale from one to ten, ten being the worst," my answer was a twenty. After being admitted, it took several days to manage the pain. Finally, late Sunday evening we all agreed that I could go home with meds and wait until we see the surgeon at Duke next Monday. So that is where we find ourselves now.
A lot has happened between then and now. It is all a part of the journey. I am on too many meds to actually get out of the house and motivate, but through the magic of technology, I am able to do some things from home. I am even trying to work on a sermon for next Sunday. I really do want to preach, but with a backup preacher (although he does not think that he is a preacher) like Gabe, I know that my flock is in good hands on Sunday mornings. I also know that the various teams that work on the many GC ministries are more than capable of doing God's work without me.
What day is this? This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it! So how about you? What day is this for you?
A lot has happened between then and now. It is all a part of the journey. I am on too many meds to actually get out of the house and motivate, but through the magic of technology, I am able to do some things from home. I am even trying to work on a sermon for next Sunday. I really do want to preach, but with a backup preacher (although he does not think that he is a preacher) like Gabe, I know that my flock is in good hands on Sunday mornings. I also know that the various teams that work on the many GC ministries are more than capable of doing God's work without me.
What day is this? This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it! So how about you? What day is this for you?
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Wednesday, July 17
So here is a God-thing. I posted a need for your prayer yesterday. Today I received a phone call to inform me that I have an appointment at Duke with both my oncologist and my surgeon who did my procedure. The appointments are not until July 29th - but hey Jack - at least I feel like we are going forward.
Thank you for being you! (You know who you are)
Thank you for being you! (You know who you are)
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Tuesday, July 16
Since last Friday's blog I have not recovered from my hospital visit as well as I have in the past. I was able to preach both services on Sunday. It was a real struggle, but I am hoping that those in attendance were not distracted by that fact.
Feeling a need to update you who are so faithful in keeping up with me via this blog, I asked Diane what I should write. Her instant response was "tell them to pray." Sometimes it is difficult to determine what to pray for. Today I ask you pray for her strength. When a caregiver has done all that she can and nothing seems to help, it can get frustrating for her.
We both know that this "story" is "His" story. We never want to stray from His will. Through your prayers and His grace, we will not stray. We will stay strong and be thankful and amazed at how He makes all things well. After all - it is all about Him!
Feeling a need to update you who are so faithful in keeping up with me via this blog, I asked Diane what I should write. Her instant response was "tell them to pray." Sometimes it is difficult to determine what to pray for. Today I ask you pray for her strength. When a caregiver has done all that she can and nothing seems to help, it can get frustrating for her.
We both know that this "story" is "His" story. We never want to stray from His will. Through your prayers and His grace, we will not stray. We will stay strong and be thankful and amazed at how He makes all things well. After all - it is all about Him!
Friday, July 12, 2013
Friday, July 12
Happy Friday Blog friends,
As you probably know, I have three of the most fantastic granddaughters in the world. Today, July 12th, is my middle granddaughter Kelli's birthday. Being the middle child, she often gets overlooked. That makes perfect sense when you think about the cuteness of her 5 year old cousin, Sally Ann, and the wit and charisma of her older sister Maia.
But the truth is, Kelli is not overlooked. She is indeed a special child in her own right, especially to her "Pa." I'm thinking that is the way that God must feel - millions of times stronger- that no child of His is overlooked. Each one of us is special to Him.
As for my cancer journey; I left the hospital with increased pain meds. The result of which means that I get a little "loopy." (Diane's word for me when I am not thinking clearly) As I mentioned in my last post, before we left the hospital we had some more scans done, since we were going to do them in a few weeks anyway. Again, the scans are very inconclusive. They really don't show anything new. On the one hand of course, we are thankful for that. On the other hand, we continue to struggle with digestive and pain issues. Our plan at this point in time is to get back to cutting the medications. The journey continues.
One thing Iknow for sure. I have not been overlooked by God. No matter how many children that He has, I will always be special to Him. And guess what? So will you. Just like Kelli, I am loved. And guess what? So are you!
As you probably know, I have three of the most fantastic granddaughters in the world. Today, July 12th, is my middle granddaughter Kelli's birthday. Being the middle child, she often gets overlooked. That makes perfect sense when you think about the cuteness of her 5 year old cousin, Sally Ann, and the wit and charisma of her older sister Maia.
But the truth is, Kelli is not overlooked. She is indeed a special child in her own right, especially to her "Pa." I'm thinking that is the way that God must feel - millions of times stronger- that no child of His is overlooked. Each one of us is special to Him.
As for my cancer journey; I left the hospital with increased pain meds. The result of which means that I get a little "loopy." (Diane's word for me when I am not thinking clearly) As I mentioned in my last post, before we left the hospital we had some more scans done, since we were going to do them in a few weeks anyway. Again, the scans are very inconclusive. They really don't show anything new. On the one hand of course, we are thankful for that. On the other hand, we continue to struggle with digestive and pain issues. Our plan at this point in time is to get back to cutting the medications. The journey continues.
One thing Iknow for sure. I have not been overlooked by God. No matter how many children that He has, I will always be special to Him. And guess what? So will you. Just like Kelli, I am loved. And guess what? So are you!
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
July 9
Today is Tuesday. As I looked back at my posts, it looks like my last post was almost a week ago. If that is true, then I have been much more slack than I thought.
Over the past week or so my butt has been dragging. We are thinking that the cause of the lack of energy and digestive issues is pain. We just simply cannot keep it under control. When the pain level gets too high and stays too long, we go to Wayne Memorial Hospital. That's what we did after church on Sunday.
Things seem to be better today. We were scheduled to have scans done in a week or so anyway, so we went ahead and got them done today.
Meanwhile we just wait (Isaiah 40:31) upon The Lord.
I don't know about you, but I'm not very good with this waiting stuff. But I am getting much better at it. As the Scripture says "the weaker I am, the stronger He is.
Keep waiting and keep trusting. I will update on the blog soon. After all, it's all about Him!
Over the past week or so my butt has been dragging. We are thinking that the cause of the lack of energy and digestive issues is pain. We just simply cannot keep it under control. When the pain level gets too high and stays too long, we go to Wayne Memorial Hospital. That's what we did after church on Sunday.
Things seem to be better today. We were scheduled to have scans done in a week or so anyway, so we went ahead and got them done today.
Meanwhile we just wait (Isaiah 40:31) upon The Lord.
I don't know about you, but I'm not very good with this waiting stuff. But I am getting much better at it. As the Scripture says "the weaker I am, the stronger He is.
Keep waiting and keep trusting. I will update on the blog soon. After all, it's all about Him!
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Wednesday, July 3
Just in case I don't post tomorrow, Happy Independence Day friends.
I am thankful that I live in a country that does not have a perfect form of government, but it is the very best form of government on the planet.
When Jesus walked on the earth, the Romans were in power. The government was corrupt and it corrupted others along with it. I don't recall that Jesus ever tried to influence who was going to govern or how they governed. I do recall that Jesus did try to influence each individual heart so that each person would make the right decision, regardless of the cost.
And just because something is "legal" does not make it "right."
Many things are legal, according to our laws, but they are not necessarily in line with God's teaching.
No government has to tell me how I should feel about abortion.
No government has to tell me how I should feel about same gender marriage.
No government has to tell me how I should feel about exploitation and enabling of the poor.
No government has to tell me how I should feel about how we should take care of the widows and orphans.
No government has to tell me how I should feel about how I should treat my fellow man or woman.
No government has to tell me how I should feel about every branch of the government, Executive, Legislative and Judicial, (President, congress / senate, and judges) overstepping their bounds even to the point of tyranny.
No government has to tell me when and where I can pray.
No government has to tell me whether I should like socialism over democracy.
No government has to tell me how to be dad or a pa or a husband or a neighbor or a friend or a pastor or a . . .
I could go on, but I think that you get the point. We don't need more government. We need more Jesus.
Now on to my update regarding my cancer journey. As you know, I am scheduled to get more scans done in a few weeks. In the meantime, I have been struggling with off and on pain as well as off and on digestive issues. After talking with Dr. West yesterday, we are praying that God will lead Dr. West to get us to the right place at the right time. We are considering going back to Duke or going back to M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Texas.
In case you are wondering, let me be clear - I am still convinced that God has a plan for us and a plan for my life. He isn't finished with me yet. We just continue to follow Him daily. God is good, and It's all about Him!
Happy July 4th - celebrate this great country by doing what is right in God's eyes, forget about what "they" think.
I am thankful that I live in a country that does not have a perfect form of government, but it is the very best form of government on the planet.
When Jesus walked on the earth, the Romans were in power. The government was corrupt and it corrupted others along with it. I don't recall that Jesus ever tried to influence who was going to govern or how they governed. I do recall that Jesus did try to influence each individual heart so that each person would make the right decision, regardless of the cost.
And just because something is "legal" does not make it "right."
Many things are legal, according to our laws, but they are not necessarily in line with God's teaching.
No government has to tell me how I should feel about abortion.
No government has to tell me how I should feel about same gender marriage.
No government has to tell me how I should feel about exploitation and enabling of the poor.
No government has to tell me how I should feel about how we should take care of the widows and orphans.
No government has to tell me how I should feel about how I should treat my fellow man or woman.
No government has to tell me how I should feel about every branch of the government, Executive, Legislative and Judicial, (President, congress / senate, and judges) overstepping their bounds even to the point of tyranny.
No government has to tell me when and where I can pray.
No government has to tell me whether I should like socialism over democracy.
No government has to tell me how to be dad or a pa or a husband or a neighbor or a friend or a pastor or a . . .
I could go on, but I think that you get the point. We don't need more government. We need more Jesus.
Now on to my update regarding my cancer journey. As you know, I am scheduled to get more scans done in a few weeks. In the meantime, I have been struggling with off and on pain as well as off and on digestive issues. After talking with Dr. West yesterday, we are praying that God will lead Dr. West to get us to the right place at the right time. We are considering going back to Duke or going back to M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Texas.
In case you are wondering, let me be clear - I am still convinced that God has a plan for us and a plan for my life. He isn't finished with me yet. We just continue to follow Him daily. God is good, and It's all about Him!
Happy July 4th - celebrate this great country by doing what is right in God's eyes, forget about what "they" think.
Monday, July 1, 2013
Monday, July 1
Happy "July" Blog friends,
I had an "interesting" weekend. Not many folks at the church know about this, so I will share it with you. After having an awesome weekend last weekend, the painless days continued into the first of the week. I am not sure exactly what happened, but on Wednesday I hit a brick wall. I began to have some intense pain, so I took some intense pain meds. The more pain that I experienced, the more meds that I took.
So on Friday I felt washed out, of course. We went to SMOC to receive some fluids, hoping that it would help with my energy level. I think that it helped because I was able to preach both services and make a short appearance at a wonderful GC outreach project at Kirkwood Retirement Center. BUT, due to all of the pain meds, I became "full of it," as we like to call it. Folks - if you have never had a Grandma's Molasses enema at Wayne Memorial Hospital then you just don't know what a relief it is.
So anyway, here is the lesson that I learned. Everything that we do has a "side effect." For instance, the more pain meds, the more likely you are to get stopped up. There are many more illustrations that make my case, but I think that you get the point. But this little rule is not always a bad one. Think about it. You may have come to believe in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior because you wanted to make it into Heaven. And the fact is, the only way to get to Heaven when you die is to have Jesus as Lord of all you. But, can you think of all of the side effects that comes from following Christ? Jesus said that He had a peace that only He could give. So some of the side effects might be a happier, more content life, the ability to sleep at night knowing all is well, and many more.
Sometimes, the side effects, like Grandma's Molasses and the peace of Christ are well worth it!
I had an "interesting" weekend. Not many folks at the church know about this, so I will share it with you. After having an awesome weekend last weekend, the painless days continued into the first of the week. I am not sure exactly what happened, but on Wednesday I hit a brick wall. I began to have some intense pain, so I took some intense pain meds. The more pain that I experienced, the more meds that I took.
So on Friday I felt washed out, of course. We went to SMOC to receive some fluids, hoping that it would help with my energy level. I think that it helped because I was able to preach both services and make a short appearance at a wonderful GC outreach project at Kirkwood Retirement Center. BUT, due to all of the pain meds, I became "full of it," as we like to call it. Folks - if you have never had a Grandma's Molasses enema at Wayne Memorial Hospital then you just don't know what a relief it is.
So anyway, here is the lesson that I learned. Everything that we do has a "side effect." For instance, the more pain meds, the more likely you are to get stopped up. There are many more illustrations that make my case, but I think that you get the point. But this little rule is not always a bad one. Think about it. You may have come to believe in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior because you wanted to make it into Heaven. And the fact is, the only way to get to Heaven when you die is to have Jesus as Lord of all you. But, can you think of all of the side effects that comes from following Christ? Jesus said that He had a peace that only He could give. So some of the side effects might be a happier, more content life, the ability to sleep at night knowing all is well, and many more.
Sometimes, the side effects, like Grandma's Molasses and the peace of Christ are well worth it!
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