Friday, March 30

Happy Friday! God is good! It's all about Him! Can you tell how that I know how blessed that I am today? I am off of all antibiotics and I am feeling better every day.
Diane and I went to see Bill and Jean Brieske yesterday at Wake Med. Bill has come a long way in the last two weeks. He had a stroke and a heart attack, yet doctors are saying that he could recover as much as 95%. We reminded Bill that God has already done a great work in him, and that God can continue that work. Bill said to me, "like you, Jerry?" Wow! Yes Bill, God has done a great work in me. And I am nobody special. What He has done for me, He can do for you!

What he has done for Jerry and for Bill, He can do for you. And it does not have to be physical. It can be ANY kind of miracle that you need. My God has NO limits.

What miracle do you need for God to work in your life?

Wednesday, March 28

You know what I think? I think that sometimes we rely on ourselves and the "experts" too much. Now, don't get me wrong. God used some very specific experts to save my life, including Dr. West in Goldsboro and the doctors at Duke. Maybe it is because of the journey we have been through with cancer, but it seems that, when the antibiotics make me sick, or the fever unexplainably continues, even though I am on medication, I feel the need to call an expert and get his/her expert opinion.

The truth is, sometimes we simply need to rely on the God that that got us here. He is more than able  to supply all our needs. He is the ultimate expert.

Who are you relying upon today?

Tuesday, March 27

Counting down the days - only three more - until I am finished with my antibiotic. It makes me feel tired, messes with my taste, screws up my digestive system, and makes me have a tummy ache.
But you know what? God has been sooooo good to me. And I know that He will continue to do so, in whatever way He chooses. So I certainly have no reason to be a "whiney butt." (you had to be there)

Also, even through these past couple of weeks, God has allowed me the ability to do His church work. And as long as He continues to give me strength, I will continue to serve.

That's my prayer and my promise to Him. What is your prayer and promise to Him this morning?

Sunday, March 25

Today is Diane's birthday.
She is my best friend. She is my lover. She is my helpmate. She is my lifemate. She is my encourager. She is my challenger. She is my spiritual advisor. She is my nurse. She is SO much more. She is always by my side.
She was the prettiest girl in the 10th grade. She is the prettiest 60 year old.


Thank you LORD for allowing me to have her as my wife.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIANE! I LOVE YOU THE MOSTEST!

Friday, March 23

Yesterday was a big day for us. Doctors determined that we will not do any more treatments, chemo or radiation. We will go back to Duke in a few weeks for some blood tests concerning the infection that I still have. Then we will return to Duke every three months for scans. We pray that every scan will be the same as the one last week - all clear and cancer free.
I decided to ask Dr. Zafar a question that I had really wondered about. How do I describe myself? Do I say that I "have" cancer, or do I say that I "had" cancer. His answer was very encouraging. Although I cannot be declared "cancer free" for five years, I can tell people that I had cancer and now I am a cancer survivor.

I do know this. I can describe myself as one blessed man! I am well aware that the odds of beating pancreatic cancer are very slim. But I am even more aware that I serve a God that doesn't give a happy squat about odds. My prayer is that you know that same God.

So . . . how do you describe yourself?

Thursday, March 22

Headed to Duke in a few minutes. Please pray for safe travels. I think that we will determine this morning how, or whether, we will proceed with chemotherapy. Can you believe that, in spite of the cookies, cakes and pies that my church family has provided, I still have not gained any weight? So I am not sure of what the plan will be. I am sure that God knows what the plan will be. And I am okay with whatever that is.

In our small group last night, Jeremy Davis asked the group to listen for what God has to say to us. Then he challenged us by saying, once we hear what God wants us to do, will we do it?  Hmmm.

Tuesday, March 20

Praise! No fever for two full days now! The antibiotic appears to do the trick. God is good, and I am so thankful for this part of the journey to be coming to a conclusion.

Here is a question for you. Where have you seen God in your life so far this week? I know, today is only Tuesday. But I must share this with you. On Sunday afternoon I was required, as a UMC pastor, to attend a meeting of clergy and lay leaders, to hear Bishop Gwinn share information about the restructure and new focus of the Methodist Church in North Carolina. A huge thanks to Mr. Buddy Smith for attending this meeting. You see, a meeting with a bunch of preachers is often long and boring. And the truth is, we often don't see as much God in those times as we should. But anyway. . .
At the end of the meeting, Bishop Gwinn called me to the front and reminded the folks there of my journey with cancer. He had me kneel at the altar there at St. Paul while the Bishop prayed for me, Pastor Jim anointed me, and the entire group layed hands on me or stretched out hands for me. Let me tell you. I saw God in the life of that group on Sunday afternoon!

It is still early. Where will you see God in your life this week? Where will you see God in your life today?

Monday, March 19

AWESOME Sunday! What a great day God allowed me to have yesterday! At GC, we had two families join the church. (Edens and Hairs) Both are already active in the church and will continue to be a blessing. At the second service, we baptized Anna Gray Garver. What a special time!
I love my job!!
Today, I am feeling well. Diane and I plan to go to Wake Med to visit a very, very dear man in our church, Mr. Bill Brieske. He has suffered a stroke. Please keep him in your prayers.

Can you go to work this morning and say with all of the passion you can muster - "I love my job?!"

Friday, March 16

I asked for your prayers as we went to Duke yesterday for tests and scans. Thank you for being faithful. Every blood test was normal - and SCANS WERE CLEAR! Can I get a "thank you Jesus?!"
And thank you for reminding me that it IS all about Him.
We still have to figure out the fevers. I am going back on some antibiotics. Plus they took some additional blood tests yesterday to see if it was fungal related. They stuck me six times and it we were in Durham all day long. But hey, it was how God wanted it to be.

Again, thanks for your prayers. God has a plan, but He definitely wants to hear from you and me.

Wednesday, March 14

Okay, this is why I do a blog. My last post said that I had a great week. I did - last week. This week has not been good at all. I have had a dadgummit fever every day for the past several days . Up until yesterday, we controlled it with Tylenol. Yesterday we never could get it down. Today, it is hanging around 101.5 even with Tylenol.
Since we have an appointment at 6:40 in the morning at Duke anyway, Diane and I will be going to Durham this evening and spending the night. I will miss my Xtreme family and Sue's home cooking.
Pray that this fever thing is nothing and that we get good reports tomorrow.

And help me to remember that IT'S ALL ABOUT HIM.

Monday, March 12

Happy Monday,
This is the day that the LORD has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. With the exception of a little sinus infection and my team losing the ACC tournament yesterday, I have had a really great week. I seem to be stronger. My color is better. My weight is not coming back very fast, but I never have been a person who gains very much weight very quickly.
One of the most difficult lessons that I have had to learn is that, even when I feeling better, I am not well. There is so much I still want to do. But I know that I must take it one day at a time, and give God all the praise for another good day.

Are you in that 'wide open' lifestyle every day? Or do you have the ability to slow down and give God thanks and praise for this day and this moment?

Friday, March 9

This has been a really good week. I have been able to get some things done. I have even worked in the church office a few days this week. We are praying that this trend continues.
I went to church last night and the devil showed up. Maybe I should explain. The Beacons of GC had a great meeting last night. We had delicious food and an inspirational devotion. Then, near the end of the devotion, the devil (actually someone who was playing the devil) came in and explained how he had been around for a long time. He told us how he has been trying to get to Jesus for centuries. His temptation in the wilderness, nor any other of his tactics have worked. But the devil also explained that he does not give up easily. He knows that he cannot get to Jesus, so he has focused his attention of the followers of Jesus. That's you and me. He let us in on some ways in which he gets to us. And he reminded us that he does not have horns, nor does he carry pitchforks. The devil works in our everyday lives through everyday people.

The devil was portrayed by Randy Whitman. I enjoyed Randy's presentation. I think that we all can relate to the devil jumping on our backs at one time or the other. But don't forget the all important Bible verse that reminds us that if you "resist the devil, he will flee from you."

Wednesday, March 7

I really did not mean to cuss so much in my last post. So far, we have had a very good week. No fever this week. I have been out and about some. I think that I am feeling a bit stronger each day.
One of the things that has been really cool about being sick is that I have heard from folks that I have not heard from in years, some in many years. It is great to reconnect with old friends. Last night, one of my former UMC District Superintendents, Paul Leeland called me from Alabama. He is serving as Bishop down there. We had a great conversation about what the LORD is doing in our lives.
When someone calls that I have not spoken to in some time, it gives me a chance to share my story. Paul and I shared stories with each other.

What a joy to hear from friends from past years. Is there someone that you need to contact and reconnect with? With today's technology, you don't have to travel great distances to do that. Think about it. Today, you could add some joy to a long time friend's day.

Monday, March 5

I read somewhere (I don't remember where) that Coach Roy Williams' favorite "cuss word" is dadgum. I am pretty sure that old Roy knows some real cuss words. But that being said, some days I am so dadgum tired of being so dadgum sick. During the past weekend, I did not have a good Saturday. I even missed Sally Ann's birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheeze. Some of you adults are saying that was not a bad thing. But instead of going to the party, I was at home with a temperature. On Sunday, God blessed Diane and I with the ability to give our testimony during the morning worship services, on the secret to our long term relationship. But that afternoon, I felt dadgum sick again and ran another fever. And today, I feel really good.

During Gabe's prayer Sunday morning he thanked God for being the God of the rain and the God of the sunshine, and for His ability to know which one we need, exactly when we need it. I am depending upon that. God is always with me, through rain and shine, and He knows just which one I need and when.

Do you sometimes get really dadgum upset when things just don't seem to work out the way that you have planned?

Friday, March 2

Good trip to Durham yesterday. My Oncologist and I are still on the same page. We are a bit dissappointed that I am not stronger, and that I am still not gaining weight. But I am told that it will happen. As of right now, the plan is to go back to Duke in two weeks. I will have blood tests and full scans. If I am strong enough by that date, we will try to begin chemo through IV, one day per week for four months.
I have so many reasons to continue to fight cancer and to live a longer life. One of those reasons will celebrate her 4th birthday today. Sally Ann is our youngest granddaughter. Like your children and grandchildren, she is special.

How many reasons do you have to live  a longer life? Ain't we blessed? Ain't God good?!