Friday, September 28

We went to see Dr. Chang on Wednesday. I really love talking to doctors who are the best in their field. I am not kidding. I really do believe that the doctors that I get advice from are the top of the line. I have so much respect, and obviously much trust, in their abilities. That is why I love to watch them as they talk about how much they don't understand about my cancer journey. Dr. Chang tried to help me by explaining that in all of the country, I am "just one of a handful of people" who have survived pancreatic cancer, survived the Whipple procedure, and am leading a normal life. Because of that, they are not really sure of what to make of my situation. (clear scans and rising cancer markers)

Did you read last week about the man who jumped from a train into a tiger's den? Did you hear the reason he gave for doing such a thing? He wanted to be "one with the tiger." He almost was one with the tiger. If officials had not rescued him, he would have been the tiger's dinner. I question his goal (and even his sanity), but you have to admire his determination.

I am so thankful that I don't have any desire to be one with a tiger. Instead, I like being one with Jesus, my Lord. When doctors don't understand my cancer journey, I just smile and say to them, "we don't have to understand everything. We just have to trust in the Lord."

Have you got stuff going on in your life that you don't understand? Maybe you ought to be as determined to be one with Jesus as this man was to be one with the tiger. I promise you - the result will be much different.

Wednesday, September 26

Today we go for our monthly "second opinion" appointment with Dr. Chang here in Goldsboro. So far, her thoughts have been the same as Dr. Zafar at Duke.
Someone asked me why I need to get a second opinion when my first opinion comes from one of the top cancer hospitals (Duke) in the country.The answer comes from an old preacher story. You probably have heard it.
A very religious man lives in an area that is being flooded by a hurricane. The water rises so quickly that it fills his entire home and he is standing on the roof, with no land in sight. A boat comes along and offers to take the man to safety, but the man replies "No thanks, the Lord has promised to take care of me." A few hours later the man is standing on his roof in waist deep water. Another boat comes by and begs the man to get in. Again the man refuses by saying, "The Lord will save me." A few hours later the man is standing on his roof with water up to his neck. A helicopter flies by and the rescuers shout to the man to grab the rope. But the man just shakes his head and declares again that the Lord will save him. In just a few more minutes the water rises above the man's head and he is drowned.
When this very religious man gets to Heaven, he questions God. "Why did you not save me, as you said that you would do?" God replies, "I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What else did you want me to do?"

I have ALL of the confidence in God. I KNOW that he has already shown us a miracle in my life. I also know that he continues to save me every day, just as he promised. So, if he sends me boats and helicopters in the forms of second and third opinions from different doctors and hospitals, why would I not pay attention?

Maybe you are in a situation today that you need for God to handle. Are you looking for his boats and helicopters?

It's all about Him!

Monday, September 24

Talking about enjoying life - I loved this weekend!
On Saturday Diane and I took advantage of the opportunity to go to Chapel Hill for a Carolina football game. One note: I like ECU. I pull for them except when they are playing UNC (and NCSU, because of Gabe). Anyway, it was great to be in all of that blue. Due to an invitation by Jorge and Faith Seigle we had great seats, and more importantly a special parking pass, which is a big deal at Kenan Stadium. It was a long day, but a special one.
On Sunday, we participated in two Spirit-led services at GC, then had lunch with our staff and a group of selected new folks, then attended the new Capital District celebration. Again, it was a long day, but a great one.
During my sermon, I shared how necessary it is for me to remember three things. I need to remember who I am (I was created by God), whose I am (Since He created me, I am His) and why I am (I am here for a purpose).

Thinking about those three things, I am looking for some awesome days to come.
How about you?

It's all about Him!

Thursday/Friday September 20

We just returned from the Duke Cancer Center. We were reminded today that we can depend upon our Lord. We were also reminded that God wants us to do that day by day, or month by month, or whenever.
The great news is that all of the scans that we took yesterday, both CT and PET, showed NO sign of cancer. (Thank you Jesus!) The not as great news is that my cancer indicator number continues to increase. It went from 262 to over 400 in the last thirty days. The oncologists are a bit baffled. They were sure that when that number (CA19-9) continued to increase, that they would see cancer on the scan. At least that is the way that it is supposed to work.

They don't understand - I think that I do. God is doing a His awesome physical work in me so that I can do whatever He wants me to do. And He has more for me to do. And, as I said, He wants me to depend completely upon Him. I tried to explain to Dr. Zafar that it is a God-thing. I'm not sure that he completely understands, but he suggested that we don't do another scan or test for three months.

I will share with you that last year when we were diagnosed, a long-time friend told me that she believed that God was going to work in an "unexpected" way. I think that she may be a prophet.

So we will continue to give God the praise and continue to totally depend upon Him daily. But then again, with or without cancer, aren't we supposed to do that anyway?

Wednesday, September 18

We go to Duke for blood tests and scans today. As you know, our past scans have shown no new signs of cancer, but the cancer indicator number from the blood test is elevated. We are doing a new scan today, but we don't anticipate that it will show anything new.
If how I feel is any indication, and they say that it is, then we are expecting good news tomorrow when we return for the results.
If how I look is any indication, this past weekend during our Harvest Sale I had lots of folks tell me that I look good. I love it when folks say that. I always say that I didn't look good before my surgery, so I really appreciate whatever the doctor did while I was asleep. But seriously, I know what folks mean when they say that. Having not seen me recently, they are expecting to see a thin, pale, bald cancer patient. When they see that you cannot even tell that I have cancer by the way that I don't look thin or pale, and my receding hairline is just taking its natural course :-), then they are surprised.

I know that God is good. I know that God loves me. I know that it is all about Him. Still, I would appreciate it if you would pray for a "39" for me. God knows what that means.
I promise to report my results here either Thursday night or Friday morning.

Friday, September 14

Since my goal here is to be completely honest and tell the entire story, maybe I should clarify a sentence in Wednesday's blog. I wrote that I found time to rest during each busy day. That sentence should have read "I try to find time to rest during each busy day." I do think that it is important for all of us to take some 'Sabbath' time each day. But I also realize that sometimes life gets in the way of what we need to do.
Also, the way that I look at my day may differ a bit from most. I love what I get to do every day! I really do! I look at each day as a way of serving God and serving others. You may look at your day that way as well. After all, there is no difference between our time and God's time. (you have to hear last Sunday's sermon to understand what I mean) Anyway, serving is what God has called ALL of His followers to do. Some get to do this every day. Some reserve the weekend for serving. This weekend about 200 of my GC church family will get the opportunity to serve during out annual Harvest Sale. This is just one of the ways in which we show our love for Jesus and those whom He loves.

Jesus says that ALL those who call themselves followers (Christians) are called to serve. How do you plan to serve him today? After all, it's all about Him.

Wednesday, September 12

One week from today we go back to Duke for more scans and blood tests. Here is how Diane and I handle it. When I am feeling good about my health, Diane feels good. When Diane is emotionally down about my health, I feel down about my health. We feed off of one another. So the only time that we really get down about our situation is when we both are feeling down. Pray that one of us continues to remember that it is all about Him.
One of the ways in which I gauge my condition is by my schedule and how well I am able keep it. According to these past days, I am as healthy as I have ever been. I preached three sermons on Sunday (two at GC and one at St. Paul UMC in Durham). I had two meetings and two sessions with folks on Monday. Yesterday I spent the day in Raleigh at a Clergy Day Apart sponsored by the Capital District of the UMC. The remainder of the week looks extremely busy, with the Harvest Sale coming up this weekend. I love it!

During this busy time, I have found (and will continue to find) time to take just a few minutes each day to stop and rest. No matter what condition our physical health is in, that is important for me and for you.

Friday, September 7

I had lunch yesterday with a very special friend of mine. I had the honor of preaching the funeral of his wife one year ago. This man has some rock solid faith. You can see it in his life and hear it in his voice. But you can also hear pain in his voice. Grief is painful. But that is not the only thing that is causing this man pain. This man wonders why, if he has so much faith, he continues to feel like everyone else who has lost someone they love to the grave.
It really did not come to me until after we had talked. But it seems that sometimes the more faith that we have, the more frustrated we get. I know. I have been there and done that. People with faith let God take care of everything. People with faith know that God is good and that His plans for us are good. People with faith realize God's blessings upon them.
But when people with faith find themselves in a situation where they know all of these things and still have those human thoughts and emotions, people with faith wonder if they have enough faith. And then it gets frustrating - even painful.

When I think about my faith, I remember this promise from Jesus to me. I only need faith the size of a mustard seed (which is very, very small).
When I think about my weakness, I remember this promise from Jesus to me. When I am at my weakest, He is at His strongest.

Today I pray for your day to be filled with small faith and weakness. It's all about Him!

Ask anyone living with cancer. If they are honest with you, they will tell you that the word "time" means something different than it did before their diagnosis. As I prepared for last Sunday's sermon, this concept became all the more clear to me.
I have always loved life. Diane will tell you that I have always been willing to try anything from skydiving to long road trips on a motorcycle. In my corporate life, for 29 years I was fortunate enough to work with a company that allowed me to move from the office to sales on the road to marketing and to most every other area within the organization. I have never been afraid to start a business on my own (and yes, build it myself without government entitlements). I have been blessed with an exceptional family, both before adulthood and during. I have been a believer for as long as I can remember. I accepted God's call to ministry at 40 years of age, and full time ministry at 50.
I suppose that what I am trying to say is this. As I look back, it seems as though I have always thought of time as "God's time" and "my time." The truth is, He has always been with me, even when I was not aware of His presence. It is all His time.

Time now has a different meaning. It seems to be more precious. Someone traveling the cancer journey tends to think that way. But shouldn't all of us think that way?

How will you spend God's time today?

Friday, Saturday September 1

Happy Labor Day weekend!
Have you ever noticed that holidays are seldom celebrated for the cause upon which they were originated? Things like Santa at Christmas and bunnies at Easter tend to take away the meaning. It is not just religious holidays that come to mind. Memorial day is much more known for cookouts than it is for those who gave the ultimate sacrifice while serving in our military.

Labor Day has lost its original meaning also, and I am really happy about that. At the turn of the 20th century, Labor Day was a way to kiss up to organized Labor. It was a celebration of the workers' unions. But here is what Wikipedia says about today's holiday.

"Labor Day has come to be celebrated by most Americans as the symbolic end of the summer. In high society, Labor Day is (or was) considered the last day of the year when it is fashionable to wear white or seersucker. In U.S. sports, Labor Day marks the beginning of the NFL and college football seasons. NCAA teams usually play their first games the week before Labor Day, with the NFL traditionally playing their first game the Thursday following Labor Day. The holiday is now regarded as a day of rest and parties."

 

So remember that this weekend is the last weekend to wear your white or seersucker fashion.

And yes, get ready for some football!