Friday, August 30

My last blog talked about waiting. Boy have we had to practice that virtue this week. On Tuesday we left Goldsboro right on time to wait at the airport for about 2 hours before take off. Everything has gone as planned. We have waited for taxis, hospital techs, for labs, doctors, and of course at restaurants. What we have been waiting for more than anything else was to hear the doctor say "this is what we are going to do next. We 'sort of' heard that on Thursday. What we do next is to stay an extra day in Houston to get a more detailed scan of a particular area. What we do after that will depend upon a lot of "ifs."

When we try to understand all of those ifs, we can get confused and frustrated. But when we realize that it is not necessary for us to understand the ifs and simply put our faith in the One who does, much of the confusion and frustration turns into peace - His peace that Jesus talked about in the 14th chapter of the gospel of John.

The peace of Christ be with you as you continue to pray for us.

Saturday, August 24

I don't get along too well with doing nothing. Admittedly that mindset gets me in a bit of a quandary now and then. But when that happens, God knows how to handle it. He either makes me be still and know that He is God, or he eventually shows me that no matter which way that I move, it isn't working. Some of you may know what I mean.
So what do you do when you are traveling a cancer journey? Am I supposed to be still and do nothing, or am I supposed to do something, even if it is unproductive? I think that I have finally received an answer to that. Over these past months we have explored every avenue of this thing. Pain / no pain. Nausea / no nausea. Cognition / no cognition. As I said, I don't do well with doing nothing, so we have gone through the gamut of options. We have appreciated and listened intently to the advice of those who care enough to share their thoughts with us.
Here is a lesson to be learned. When we got to where we thought was the end of our options, we stopped and waited. We did not give up. We just stopped and waited. It was then that God has directed us back to MD Anderson in Texas. I am sure of it. Everything has been leading up to this. Isn't God something?
So my prayer request that I ask of you is to continue to remember us as we travel, and as God reveals the answers to us - whether we like it or not.

Maybe you do quite well with doing nothing. That's not a bad thing. Or maybe you feel as though you must do something. That's not a bad thing either. Whichever way that you roll, seek God first.
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33. Try it and let me know how it goes.

After all, It's all about Him!

Thursday, August 22

Thank you for your prayers. With the exception of a half day now and then, this has been a good week. My beautiful and intelligent wife / caregiver / nurse has been working hard to find the correct combination of pain meds to do the trick. I was able to work at the church office yesterday. I am asking that you pray that I will be able to preach on Sunday. We will not be going back to Duke, but we do plan to return to MDAnderson Cancer Center in Houston maybe as soon as next week.

Cancer makes you think weird thoughts. Today is Thursday and I am so looking forward to the weekend. Many folks are looking forward to the weekend to travel or to relax. i am looking forward to the weekend so that I can go to God's house and worship. I feel the need to publicly give Him thanks for all that He does for me privately.

You may be looking forward to the weekend also. Why?

Monday, August 19, 2013

As I said in my last post, I have a roller coaster life. After having a good day on Friday, Saturday was not so good. Sunday was a little better, but I was not well enough to preach either of the morning services. Bummer. Today has been a very good day. I was able to go to my Monday breakfast meeting with the preachers, and I have been working on the laptop most of the day. Praying that tomorrow will be another good day so that I can do some work in the church office.

As for my cancer journey, we are thinking that we will not go to Duke this week for the nerve block procedure. Instead, we have been talking to MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, Texas. We went there last year and had a good experience. There is a good possibility that we will go back there next week. Continue to pray that God will lead us in the right direction, and that we will follow Him.

I do have some great news! My brother, Ronnie is home from his stay at Duke following prostate cancer surgery. We have a lot in common, as I have said before. However, we found out that we have a lot more in common when it comes to handling pain and nausea. I also found out just how much I love him and missed him during his time away.

Do you have someone that is special to you? Don't wait. Go ahead and tell them how special they are now.

Thursday, August 15

I can hardly believe that I have not blogged since Saturday. I do have some thoughts about that though. On Sunday I preached two services. After lunch we traveled to Smithfield for a gathering with the Bishop. On Monday we had planned to leave early for Myrtle Beach. We were not able to leave until late Monday afternoon simply because I could not get going. My pain was almost out of control, but we did get it to a minimum by late in the day, so we went to Myrtle Beach Monday night. (And yes, Diane enjoyed a day at the beach. I never even got beach sand on my shoes. I was in workshops all day on Tuesday. On Wednesday, we finished our sessions by noon and drove back to Goldsboro.

As you can see, it has been an up and down, roller coaster week. I had little opportunity to write. Today, the only time I have left home all day was to go to an appointment with Dr. West. I had planned (there is that word again) to go to Durham today to be with my brother and my family as Ronnie had surgery today for Prostate cancer. We just heard from my sister in law that all went well and that everything looked good. We are waiting for results from Ronnie's lymph nodes tests, but we are confident that God has everything in His hands.

Whatever kind of day I have tomorrow - no matter where it is on the roller coaster, I am thankful for all that God blesses me with. I am guessing that your world is a lot like mine. Every day is different, but you are thankful for each one. Amen?
After all, it IS all about Him!

Saturday, August 10

I am at home on this beautiful Saturday morning. I am looking back over my sermon for tomorrow. It is from the 12th chapter of Luke, beginning at verse 35. I want to talk about being ready for the return  of Jesus. I think that we all need to be reminded of that. But just a few verses earlier Jesus tells us that we should relax and know that it is the Father's good pleasure to give us the kingdom. Now I am wondering what that means.
As for me, I am thankful for whatever that means. I am thankful for a fairly good week with my pain managed. I am also thankful for some time away to reconsider what steps in our cancer journey we will take. I feel God leading us in a different direction than we are headed. Hmmmm.

Have you ever had the "feeling" that you should go in a different?

Wednesday, August 7

I wish that the church could afford whatever advertising agency that Geico Insurance uses. I cannot even get through this morning without thinking of that camel walking around the office with that smirkesh tone saying "what day is this. Mike, Mike, Mike. Woohoo. It's hump day." Of course, the idea of Wednesday being hump day in no way connects my brain to insurance, so I'm not so sure how effective it really is.
So far this week I have tried to disconnect my brain from church. Guess what? It ain't working. Yes, I am enjoying beautiful weather with my wonderful, loving family. And each one of them has done a great job of looking after me in his and her own way. I am blessed way beyond what I deserve. But my electronic tools allow me to be in touch with my GC family. It is hard to disconnect.
It is even harder to disconnect from my cancer journey. Not one person here has mentioned the c word all week. They have done a wonderful job not bringing the journey up in conversations. But even the youngest of the granddaughters notice my lack of energy and stamina.
So even though today is hump day, I will continue to enjoy the blessings of God in whatever form they present themselves. Woohoo!

Saturday, August 3

I have been feeling a bit more like normal, whatever that is, these past days. I am looking forward to being with my GC family tomorrow. I believe that I have a word from The Lord. Pray that 1-it is from The Lord, and 2- that He gives me what I need to deliver it.
I feel your prayers with me every day. Keep praying!

Thursday, August 1

Happy August blog friends,
On the cancer journey, here is the latest. We are going to return to Duke to attempt a nerve block. If you are thinking that you remember that I have already been there and done that, you are partially correct. This block is "different" than that one, although I'm not exactly sure how. As of now, the procedure is scheduled for August 21st. If an earlier date becomes available we will take advantage of it.
Until whatever date we do this thing, we will continue to use medication. The challenge is to take enough meds to keep the pain under control without using so much that it leads to cognitive issues.

This journey has taken much longer than we first anticipated, but as my friend Dr. West reminded us, every day that we survive is another day that someone somewhere will figure out the solution. Until that time we will continue to trust God to be as real to us as He has been in the past. After all - it's all about HIM!